GOOD-BYE MY TAZ...TILL WE MEET AGAIN..

Ninja and Betty-Boo..

And so on the 27th of November 2000, he came bounding into our lives.
A little black shiny pup ,born in my bathroom , to my beautiful golden Retriever Betty Boo and my boxer Ninja who was actually a poet .

Ninja.Migi.Warsi

Betty-Boo. Bing.Warsi

We were out having dinner,when Betty Boo began giving birth and as soon as my help called and said, "Shhhhabji Beeeti ki Bacha hua, kala hain"

We quickly wrapped up my friend Chopie's birthday dinner and drove home like Schumi..
By the time we did reach , the third pup was on its way.
Meanwhile Betty Boo, sat in my bathroom , and wagged her tail as she saw me, and I sat with her as she gave birth to 7 beautiful pups. They were in my palms as soon as she ate up the birth sack.
She was absolutely comfortable with me holding her new born pups.
And looking at all seven of them , sleeping in a little basket eyes closed and cuddled , 4 black and 3 fawn coloured was my greatest joy.
7   Sagittarius puppies, you can just imagine the mayhem..

The most crazy fun time..

It was so difficult to let go..

And so started the madness, 7 puppies and two full grown dogs at home ..
Of course all the pups had to be given away, I could not be keeping 7 of them , and I chose the one I wanted to keep, she was a light fawn and a ball of fat and was sooooo cute , I was In love with her.
And Arshad chose the one he wanted,

 

Arshad and Taz..

He was black, very very naughty, was big, yipped a lot and had an "A" on his chest.
After about a month of the pups being with us , it was now time for them to go .
And I wanted none of them to actually go.
But as we could not keep 9 canines, I decided that I would pick a particular day and time and all my friends who had made their choice of pups, had to come and collect them , because giving one everyday was just too heart breaking.
And so between 11-1pm on a Sunday , all the pups finally left.
Arshad was adamant that the black pup stays, and I was totally heartbroken.

 

The Monsti puppy ..

The one I wanted went to a family with 4 kids, infact they took 2 pups, that I visited for quite some time.
Arshad's black fellow with the "A" on his chest stayed with us.

I did not like him ,and wanted nothing to do with him, and just stayed away from him for a bit.
But he was really naughty and charming simultaneously and after sometime, he just followed me and Betty-Boo around , depending on who is feeding him or cuddling him.
He loved to be loved and was crazily fiesty.

And soon the trio of Betty-boo, Ninja and Taz was what my day was made off..
I took them everywhere I could, they went swimming at Juhu beach every time I was not shooting, and went with me sometimes to my MTV sets when I was.
They have travelled with me to my home in Vasai by trains and jumped into rickshaws with me too.

Little pretty Betto-Boo..

I lost Betty Boo in 2005, she had a large heart, not good I believe in a canine's world, I knew when she fell ill in Dec that she did not have long to live, on the 25th when I went for mass, I looked at her and asked her to not leave before Christmas dinner, she loved roasted chicken, and I fed her all she wanted on the day , on the 28th , she breathed her last in my arms, I saw the light go out of her brown eyes...
Not a good place to be..

2 years later in 2007, I lost Ninja..

On 15th December again on a December morning ..
He too had a large heart ..

Pouting with the pout himself..Ninja..

And since then every December, I used to get a bit paranoid, I used to scrutinise every move of Taz and a visit to his vet was mandatory, all his blood tests etc and saw to it that he was fine.

He was a mad , big, scoundrel and I loved him.

My love..

His coat shone a black blue and he just looked like a panther sometimes to me, with that shining black coat, and those cute eyes that I loved so completely.
He was very clear that my hair should never be tied and so every time I wore a pony Tail, he would have no peace till he pulled the band out, and ran around with it , with me chasing him.
Garlic used to drive him nuts and he would pounce on it and bark at it ..
He grew up with Betty-Boo and Ninja, and so learned the ropes of eating and where to do what really fast .
He did not like people who were dressed shabbily and barked at them .
He just ran with Betty-Boo and Ninja everywhere.
And would cuddle up with me and sleep, and then in the middle of the night, would jump off and cuddle with Betty-Boo his mum, between the two of us, he was a much loved and spoilt brat .
Ninja used to bark at him when he behaved badly , and he would quietly sit down and hang his head, and then Betty-Boo would come and get in the middle and lick Ninjas face and take the prancing brat away, I think he almost always had a naughty smirk on his face, and those eyes, they were the cutest, just like his mom and dad.

And then one day in 2002 , when I got back from hosting the ICC Champions Trophy in Sri Lanka after a month, these three came to greet me at the door , and while they were all on me,and I was holding them and petting them, Taz and Ninja got into their first fight.
So they were fighting about who is going to be the Alpha male of the pack.

And so started a series of fights so horrible, that it came to a point that I had to give Taz away.
Because he was a beast full of muscle and used it, and Ninja my loving docile Boxer, was always left a mess, with me screaming and crying in the middle and Arshad trying to break them up.
It's horrible watching two souls you love, fighting in this horrific manner. Taz always left Ninja mauled and badly injured.
Taz was fighting over me, he would not allow Ninja to come near me, and would get into a fight with him, every time Ninja walked to me.
I was advised to give him away, he was very young and would get used to a new family , also he never ever harmed humans .
So we found a place for him in Pune, and he was scheduled to go .

The boy I could not let go off, until I had no option, but let him go..

But I just could not let him go , so I built a door between my two floors and kept them all together upstairs when I was down , and they were fine together, or then separated the boys and spent time with them separately.

The boys being scolded...

After Betty-Boo went away , then Taz and Ninja spent a lot more time together, and calmed down a bit, but then my Ninja too left and it was just Taz and me.

We went for many walks together, and he would growl at any dog that wagged their tail at me , or that wanted to be petted by me, even if this was his friend otherwise.
This is exactly what triggered the fights at home.
He was terribly possessive and just wanted me to himself.
And so I just walked with my Taz Tigi alone , and stuck to him , talked to him, played ball and hide and seek and we were the happiest.
He was my running partner and was a beautiful big strong fella, I always felt safe with him, he was my angel and my love all rolled into one.

After Ninja passed away, he took up permanent residence by my side and under the dining table where I fed the kids, infact it was almost funny, every time I called Zeke for lunch , dinner or snack , and carried Zene to her seat that was attached to the coffee table in my kitchen.
Taz would run into the kitchen and sit under it, facing Zene.
Zene was about eight months, and wanted to sit in her own seat and feed herself and was just about eating everything, and so as she fed herself and dropped a lot of food, Taz just gobbled everything that fell off from her hands , from her lap and under the table,
It was a beautiful synergy , I had the cutest vacuum cleaner and everyone was happy.

Taz was playful and has never ever harmed any person ever, but I think he used to get the most fiendish delight in scaring people.
I remember this one time, there was a journalist interviewing Warsi, and he just came right next to her and started growling a low growl , and every time I shouted at him , he would look at me twitch his eyes in that Tazzy way and wag his tail.

I never ever grew up a dog person, I was that kid who was most petrified of dogs, I was the kid that got bitten by one.
So they were just not my thing
But Betty-Boo , Ninja and Taz changed my life for the better.
They say that till you have loved a dog, a part of your soul lies unawakened and that is the truest thing I have experienced.

I love Taz, I will always be more partial to him .
He is my baby, my boy, my protector and guardian angel .
And there is a place in my heart that will always stay his, no matter what, just like I know I occupied his whole heart

His kisses were the best..

He loved me to bits.
I was his person, and he was my love.

I remember him sleeping out side my room at night and barking if the lift even passed my floor, the kids and me were never worried with him around us.
I felt safe with him around me.
He was not the kind of animal you wanted to mess with , if you did not know him.
He looked bloody ferocious to everyone, and when people would say , please tie him up, I just understood .

But I never tied Taz up, he mostly just always sat right next to me.
He was my mad , crazy, loving, Tazzy puppy.
He was full of love and was always trying to fit into my lap along with Zeke and Zene, because he never really knew how big he was, and he would look at me with a sad look, hang his head and make sad eyes, and till he did not shove his big face into my lap with the kids, he just grumbled and kept trying.

We used to sit watching cartoons like this and eat pop-corn together.
Zeke and Zene , knew him as their older doggy brother, and that's how they introduced him as to everyone till Zeke turned about 8.
He was my shadow, my lamb , my love and my hug.
He was the pup who was as hungry as me always and was always up and about for anything at anytime, my Sagittarius companion ready for any adventure .

Two years ago , on my birthday, he fell terribly ill.
So ill, that I thought I was losing him .(So the blog before this was written at that time)
But I guess he was not yet ready to leave and we nursed him back to health.
He had severe Arthritis and because he was a big burly fellow , his legs giving way was not the nicest thing to happen.
Sometimes I just lay him on a mat and carried him down , sometimes he walked.
But he miraculously got better , with a whole lot of medicines and steroids.
I don't think he was ready to leave yet and I was definitely not willing to let him go.
I really wanted him to get better and just live normally, eat, walk, bark and sleep, that's all.
And he slowly got better.
I began to understand his frail body better and every time there was a change in weather , I knew we had to just take extra care of Taz .

Fortunately for me, last year on the 3rd of Jan 2015, he moved with us into our new home, 10 Casa Zen.

He was always with me while I shot..

Here he had a ground to run and a big place to walk around, but he never ran, but he did get better here, because he walked a lot on his own, he would follow me wherever I went , and would bark if he did not see me and would call out till I said, "Stop it, Tiggi you know I'm here"
He would basically hang everywhere I hung , even while I shot , the camera men and the entire crew knew that he would find his way somewhere really close to me to hang, he loved my kitchen, he loved good food and so we fed him , baked chicken , till he went away.

He could not climb up stairs anymore and so knew that at the end of the day , when I went upstairs , he would sit on his carpet and sleep.

So Zeke and me wake up early for a run, and always eat a banana, before we leave, and so Taz was fed a banana every morning too.
He then had a French toast , followed by his Chicken for lunch and dinner and in-between everything that he ate.

10, Casa Zen misses you my Taazu...

In November last year, he again fell very ill.
His arthritis had kicked in again and he was not able to get up.
But he had a fighting spirit of a samurai warrior and as long as he did not give up on himself , there is no way I was going to let him go without a fight.
He also had a growth on his back an abscess that was bacterial, that in the past two years had grown four times its size, but I would keep getting it tested and that was that.
Taz turned 15 on the 27th of November 2015, I was not sure if he would make it till then.

Our vet had spoken to me on and off about euthanasia , but how do you take a pet that is eating, barking, sits up and looks at you , all other bodily functions working .
I could not.
So I walked with him when I could and carried him in a carpet in times he could not, he also stayed for my birthday that is on the 8th of December, I gave him all he would have liked to eat.
His abscess had started giving him trouble and I think the weight of it, stopped him from being able to walk.
And we could do nothing about it, we could not take it out two years ago either, because, Dr.Karkare said that he may not be able to make it back from anaesthesia, and so I had no choice but let him live without taking it out and watch it grow.

And in the midst of all this chaos of taking him for his morphine patch and keeping him pain free , I meet Aarti a dog whisperer, because of my friend Sambo, and that was really the most beautiful experience.
I don't know if you have heard of animal whisperers, but they can communicate with animals and if you even for a second think that animals have no feeling or do not understand what is going on , let me tell you, they are far more evolved than you and me and definitely far far nicer.
Getting Aarti to communicate with him and the stuff he shared and felt, is something I will cherish with me forever, I'm blessed to have met her when I did, so along with his daily medicines, he was also on a Bach flower rescue remedy.

I loved sitting with him, I used to just talk to him and he would just look at me and at times , when I went quiet, he would bark as if to say , why have you stopped, talk some more.

So I did.
Some times, the kids and me would just make our beds around him and sleep around him.
I knew he was going.
I just did not know when.
It was very sad to see Taz not being able to run around, but he was happy , he ate food with great Gusto till the very end.

On the 24th, his abscess was not good at all, l took him to the vet, Dr.Karkare looked at it and said,"It's not going to get better Maria, you have to let him go".
I knew that, but I was just not being able to , because Taz would still sit up and look at me or lie down and bark for me to sit next to him.
So the bacteria in his absccess has gotten really bad , and the doctor said, that it was now festering and he would be in pain.
So I asked Dr. Karkare, if I could take him home and get him on the 26th at 9 am..
I gave him his painkillers, and we were home, he did not walk on the24th at all.
But walked with me on the 23rd, that was the last time he walked.

So on the 24th , I continued baking my meringue and kept talking to Taz who was sitting in the hall.
The kids and me went for mass, and after we got back, we cut our brownie cake and all wished each other Merry Christmas.
Taz was up and about, so he got a bite too.
I was just happy to see him eat .
We slept by 1 probably, the next morning I was up and had some more Meringue to bake and a red velvet to cut and cream, so I got busy with that .
So the whole home got busy , and Taz being Taz was barking for someone to come sit and talk to him as he was completely unable to get up.
Once the food was done and the kitchen was cleared, all the gifts went under the tree, I just wanted Taz to have a nice bath.
So that's what I did, completely showered and shampooed him till he smelt like a little pup and his fur was all soft and shiny black and grey.
He looked so sweet, though frail.

Post his Christmas bath..

Christmas lunch as usual was a lot of fun, and everyone petted Taz and talked to him .
By 8 pm, lunch finally wound up.
I had a 9 am appointment with Taz's vet, the next day , that I had no intention of keeping.
The whole house slept.
The next day we went about with our chores and the cleaning of our home as usual.
The dreaded 9 am had passed, and Taz and the home continued with our day.
I just behaved like I had never made that appointment.
I cleaned Taz , applied medication on him and tried to feed him , he did not really eat the whole day.
He drank a bit of water and I just hung with him on his carpet.
Vijay (my house help who has looked after Taz for about 10 years ) and me were figuring what we should make for Taz for dinner and how to keep him fine.
I told him I'm not being able to take Taz to put him down.

At around 6 pm, I went to change Taz's dressing, and realised that the place where the abscess had burst, was not closing up , and there were 2 other  places that were not looking good at all.
I cleaned him put his medicine and the finality of his situation just hit me like a ton of bricks.

We were both hanging on to each other for dear life.
And nothing else mattered.
I was completely torn, I knew that if I did not take him to Dr.Karkare, his abscess would give way a little bit everyday , till he is gone, and he would go slowly in a miserable way.
And no, I did not want him to be in any pain.

I called Dr. Karkare , I told him I'm bringing Taz in.
We all just sat around Taz and petted him , spoke to him , said our good-byes, and sobbed.
`

I think , the thought of a part of him going a bit everyday , till he completely gave into his suffering, is something that I did not want for my beautiful, black, brave, loving , possessive Taz.

I gave in.
I was taking him to be euthanised .
I don't think I have ever come to a place , where I have actually let go of someone, because I loved him so deeply, that the only way to continue loving , is to let him go.
I have often read about letting go of someone you love .
But this, this was the real fucking thing.
And I hated it.
I talked to Aarti and told her I'm taking him to the clinic.

Vijay and I took Taz, we wrapped him in a soft blanket , I sat with him in the boot and just softly cried.
He just pushed and shoved his way around, till he had his head in my lap.
My cousin Penny Ann was spending the day with me and she accompanied me to the clinic.
In retrospect I'm glad she was there.
She was like a little calm pillar of silent strength.

Taz was very calm, I think he knew, his eyes looked beautiful and he looked at me with great love.
I just kept talking to him in my happiest voice, Dr.Amrita who was going to administer his injection, gave me a few papers to sign, that I did very calmly .
She told me to take my time.
Which I did.

I then just sat with Taz.
Yes,God did give me two extra years with him, he did not take him when he was terribly ill two years ago , and now it was time for me to return him back to his keeper, without him suffering.

Taz.Tigi.Warsi chose me , I did not choose him.
He chose me to love him, and unknowingly I slowly did,with my whole heart and soul.
He is definitely my soul mate.
He completed me and made me braver and more loving than I am.
He taught me , that when you really and truly love someone , you will let them go one day, not because you want them to, but because they deserve a better place.

And Taz did deserve to be able to run, bark, chase birds, run through flowers, swim in the sea, chase waves and be pain free.
I wanted all this for him and more.
I held him and he just put his head in the nape of my neck , I hugged him tight .
And I just sobbed internally and then talked to him happily , I said ."Bye my Poppy , you are my little Tiggi, I love you the most and I always will".

 I kissed him a lot, he smelt like the puppy, I held in my bathroom fifteen years ago, black as night, my Betty-Boo and Ninja's baby, I hugged him and told Dr.Amrita , she could go ahead.He just kept sleeping in my arms, and softly passed away.

I miss these eyes looking at me and this wet nose..

Barking at the crows, was his favourite pass-time..

 I felt calm, relieved, happy and totally heart-broken simultaneously.
My little Monster-Puppy..
My Love,Taz.Tigi.Warsi.
Left to run free and happy 26th December 2015, 7.51pm..
He is now a little Shiny Ebony Angel, and I'm sure he is running amuck through daisy fields and chasing butterflies and jumping into rivers..
And that is what makes us both happy..

I MISS YOU TAZZY
I ALWAYS WILL...

With me at every step..

BETTY-BOO, NINJA & TAZ...

Written Decenber 2013..


And as I sit with my Taz..
I know he is going..
To a kingdom..
Where he will run amuck with his other four legged family and friends..
His beautiful mum Betty-Boo..
His poet dad Ninja..
His neighbour Bozo..
And many others..
He met on his walks through paths and plains..
Where he chased leaves and fire flies..

He was born 13 years ago..

The naughty little ones...

To my beautiful golden retriever  and my Boxer Ninja, about whom I'm going to tell you more..

They fell in love ..

Betty-Boo & Ninja...

This fellow was the first of the litter of 7..
He came out shiny and totally chubby..
Panther black was his coat..
And a big A on his chest..

Taz.Tigi.Warsi.

As if to say..
You belong to me "Mr.Warsi"..

 I loved another..
A beautiful fawn chubby girl..
That I played with everyday..
Because Taz was always meant to go away..

In the mean time I pranced with this motley litter that nibbled on my toes..

I could have kept them all..

Taz was never the one I wanted to keep..
He would be going to another home like the rest of the pups ..

But one day, Warsi looked at him,and decided he was the one that's to stay ..
I held my chubby little fawn and just wept ..

Heartbreak is an old friend, my little chubby, who I gave away..

I let them all go one day..
In a span of two hours..
4 fawns , 2 blacks..
They were all gone ..

That little Black mound to the extreme right, my love "Taz"...

To homes of ones who will cherish them to their dying day ..

Taz stayed..
And pranced around the house..
I was pretty upset..
With this pup who sat like an elephant in a lodge ..
He walked around..
Played with his mum and dad..

And just went around, behaving like the puppy , that we just had to have ..

He had the naughtiest little black shiny eyes..
That would light up every time,the door bell rang..
And he would bark with all his might ..
And wag his tail like mad..
So confusing this little Sagittarius puppy running around my hand..

And slowly, but absolutely very surely ..
He just got inside my  heart..
His bark..
His wag..
His black eyes that looked at me with that spark..
He followed Betty-Boo and me ..
Everywhere we went ..

Father and son time..

While his dad Ninja sat at the window ..
Where many a sunshine time he spent ..

I loved these three and they loved me..
A more magical love I have not had the privilege to have felt ..
To be included in this pack...
Was the best thing in the world ..

We ran early mornings..
In and around my building ..
While Ninja walked and ran amuck like boxers do..
And Betty-Boo hid in bushes, and wagged her tail so hard..
I never knew if she was hiding or playing with Taz ..
Taz my little panther pup..
Ran with me with all his might ..

The three of us have run at Juhu beach ..
And swum in waters salty and clean..
Have picked up fights with other packs..
Got bitten ..
Scarred..
And also scared to smithereens ..
But nothing ever put down their spirit ..
Even if I shouted at them in fright..

I was their princess..
Their girl..
And they looked after me..

No one and I mean no one was even allowed on my floor..

They just sat , in front of my door..

They snarled ..
And pricked up their ears at the tiniest sounds at night ..
The kids and me all lay snuggled asleep ..
Happy in the knowledge..
That even if I was alone..
I was in the most awesome company a girl could keep ..

Life went on for really long this way..

And then one day after 9 years,in 2005
My Betty-Boo went away..
It was December ..
And I just knew ..
She had very little time ..
And that she knew too..

One bright morning..
I heard her bark..
It was as if to say..
Come say bye..
I'm going away..
She had not been well..
I ran up with Zeke in my arms..
And broke down ..
As she lay her head in my lap and slowly very slowly ..
Those brown eyes,that I so loved ..
The light in them went out..

She was my first baby.
Warsi gave her to me..

I had never had a puppy ever of my own ..
And she was my little Maddy ..
A glutton to the bone..
She had the sweetest disposition..
I have ever had known..
She came to me a Vegetarian
Till she met a lamb bone ..
Sprightly,beautiful and completely hungry
That was my Betty-Boo to me ..
Paris Brest was the most favorite of her vices..
Then there were chicken legs and tomatoes cold as ice ..

I put her ashes into the sea..
Where we swam and ran ..
And played so freely ..

Now I was left with the boys..
Who had a history of fights that were not so nice ..

After a big fight, they never understood , why I had to keep them separated from me..

Fighting to be the head of the gang..
To be Alpha male ...
They fought tooth and nail
These stupid male canines ...

But after Betty-Boo left ...
They both sat together and spent a lot of time ..
Ironing their differences out, on a window with sunshine ..
A little quieter and a little mature they seemed to be my 9yr old boxer Ninja and my 5 yr old Taz puppy ..

This continued for quite a while
And it frankly looked fine ..
They went everywhere together..
To eat, to bathe, to sleep in stormy weather..
Specially when crackers burst..
I saw Ninja always sitting calm and Taz going berserk..

I never knew what was going on in Ninjas mind ..
He was a poet ..

Ninja always thought of himself as a tiny pup...

That much I know..
Because he sat at the window ..
With that far away look in his eyes ..
And was never bothered with all the noise.
He looked like he was, writing of wonderful things..
About love and other beings..

How could anyone not love Ninja..

But when he wagged his tail, it was definitely not like the rest of the doggy guys..
Ninja was different..
And loving in every way..
He picked up fights , with anyone who dared to look my way ..
But he was a lover , not a fighter..
He never fought a single fight he started, but he fought, for the ones he loved..
He kissed you , like he has never seen you in years..
But when he farted, it could singe the hair in your ears.
That was my Ninja, the puppy that never grew beyond the mental age of two...

Thank you Amit.Ashar for this picture..

Till a December in 2007
Ninja fell very ill..
They said like Betty-boo
He had a large heart too ..
I was in pain to see him deteriorate ..
Not walking and shaking his adorable bum and wagging his tail any more..
He just lay down on his mat near my bed room door ..
Taz jumped around him..
And licked his face ..
And spoke to him in his own little doggy way ..
But nothing worked..

One December morning, I heard Ninja, whimper outside my door..
Zeke and Zene were fast asleep...
I went to sit with him ..
And whispered in his ear..
"No no Migi don't go , don't go "..
But my little Ninja was already walking away..
Wagging his tail and scampering on a beach, where Betty-boo was joining him anyway...
He looked lovely as he slept , no pain no worries anymore...

And then Taz, my little 7 year old was left alone..
He took up residence in my kitchen, under the table to to precise ..
And got fed by Zene..with all her rice...

It was really funny, if you can picture this scene..
So I call the kids for dinner..
And Taz proceeds to take his place under the table, my black puppy, totally camouflaged and unseen..
He was my cute vacuum cleaner, just like his mummy and Daddy..

Zene and Zeke became his friends..
And he just followed us everywhere we went..
In the park, down for a walk and even the loo..
He was just always everywhere to say helloooo..
He became one of the kids..

He was Zeke and Zene's doggy brother..
And that's what they told their friends..
And I was happy because, he really was my baby..

The kitchen was his favorite place..
And while I cooked, he sat and looked at my face..

His favorite pass time, wpold be sitting with Zene's crocs..

And wagged his tail in approval of the aromas, that wafted in the air..
Then of course, he wanted his share ...

I could never take him for a walk on my own..
Because he would pick up fights ..
With any other animal that came towards our way..

But to run with him was a complete delight..
Strong , big and muscular..with his tail wagging freely..
Ears flopping in abandon, and a tongue hanging out free..
Ha ha ha my partner in flight
My little Tazzy..

While I trained to climb Mt.Kilimanjaro..
He ran with me every day..
And while I ran up and down the stairs , he stood near my door and crooned away ..

He looked very frightening..
To those who never did know, he has the soul of a kid..
So I kept up the pretense, about how ferocious and ill tempered he is..

Zene with her doggy brother..

He used to grrr sometimes, at the ones he knew were frightened of him..
I think he took great pleasure in feeling like a king..

He and me would have conversations of the voooooow...voooow kind..
That had a certain tune when he was happy ..
Or then a complain in his voice ..

He has sat with me while I fed him chocolate and also while I cried..
Been with me at my happiest and also trying times..

How do I let go of a part of my soul...
While he breathes slowly..
His muscles suddenly hanging on his bones..
He cannot sit , he cannot stand..
Cannot wag his tail..
He just looks at me , twitches his ears and cocks his eyes up and down, and acts so brave ..

This Taz , my pup from the ones I will always love..
Is going away..
My black mad Taz ..
I will love you forever and a Day..

You have given me your all and everything ..
And loved me the most in your life..
I want God to be kind to you ..
And help you be fine..
I will miss your beautiful, innocent, hungry, bounding, funny presence in my life..
But I'm letting you go ..

Is that not what you are supposed to do , to the ones connected to your soul..
They may but only physically go away...

But in my heart you will always stay..
My little panther pup..
The one that was not given away..
You are mine..
At least for this life time...

And I will be there for you, till the universe takes your breath away ...

I'm going to stop now..
Because I actually can go on ..
About my three puppies, whose pet names were Tigi ( Taz )  , Migi ( Ninja ) and Bing (Betty -boo)..
And all the fun , they sent my way..
It is true, if you ever want to feel real love..
Love an animal..
And see what it does to you ..

Yes I will cry, when my Taz goes, because he will take with him selfless love of the highest kind..
Will cry for all the love I lost ..
All the love that went away..

But  thank-you dear God , for sending these three my way ..

This is my love story..
Of the most beautiful kind..
Where it was just love exchanged with nothing else in mind..

To all who have lost a pet ..
I know it's not just that..
It's much much more..
It's a piece of your soul ...

But the thought of them running wild..
Is the most beautiful scene to keep for all time..


Dedicated to Tigi (Taz) , Migi (Ninja)  and Bing (Betty-Boo)..

P.S.I wrote this 2 years ago, when my Taz was really ill, but he recovered and I had two more lovely years with him, this is a dedication, to all three, who are together now and the love I found through them.

MY BOOK IS OUT 15TH NOVEMBER 2015...YEEAH..

And so next Sunday my book that I have been working on for the past two and a half years will actually be a reality.
It's quite a scary thought and also very exciting.. .

To be a published food author ha ha ha
Is something, I never ever thought about..
Maybe I don't think too much .
I'm more of a, do what makes you happy person...

And so I hope that this book brings much happiness to everyone who goes out there and gets it for themselves or for someone they love.

To me this book has been a journey into my past and my present
It has been a long tedious , interesting journey and like a holiday of discovery into my own being through ingredients and simple cooking techniques.

This book is something that transpired between the universe, Arshad being a very fine actor ,me refusing a show I did not feel good about , Ajay Mago my publisher amd Bhutan "The land of happiness"

So I went to Bhutan as Arshad's + 1, because he was invited to be part of a panel discussing films at the Bhutan Literary Fest with the likes of Gulzarar Saab , Sharmila Tagore and other artists of their ilk.
I was never supposed to go , because I was going to be part of an amazing 24 hrs show to raise money for a cause.
But after speaking with them, I was not feeling good about my role in it.
I always feel that when you do something in life work wise, it needs to make a difference to your own being and needs to make you feel a little happier.
But if it is status quo and making you feel not that fantastic about yourself , or you feel like you are being given a raw deal..
Then I'd rather sleep..ha ha ha
Or in this case travel..
I work in weird ways what can I say..

And so I bowed out of that TV show, asked Arshad if I can go to Bhutan with him and left for this beautifully country .

Like they say what is meant to be is meant to be .
I met my publisher Ajay Mago here, and he made me laugh so much , that we ended up friends.
And so, he told me that he had read my blog and would love to do a recipe book with me.
But I did not take him seriously , and thought it was polite conversation.
And so, after a year of trying to figure if he is serious about wanting to publish a food book with me and he trying to figure whether I'm serious or not about going ahead and starting this.
I officially started working on my book .

After Culinary school , I frankly had no set plan whatsoever .
Yup all I wanted to do was cook .
And the impractical romantic (no idea about how to run a business) part of me wanted to open a small Cafe in Versova, Andheri (because that's where I live) ,and I would serve freshly baked bread and have a fixed menu for breakfast , lunch and supper, because I wanted to shut early and go home to hang with my kids.
(Ya I'm filmy that way)

I come up with the most impulsive impractical ideas most of the times.
But I'm willing to work really really hard to see it through.
Hard work has never frightened me ever.

I really feel if you want something in life , you only get luckier at achieving it ,if you work hard.
So I started working on my book.
Only thing is being neither a full fledged Chef nor a writer.
I could not have asked for more trouble.

So I first started with jotting down all the stuff that I already make at home .
Then the food I loved to eat when I travel.
Then the food that I grew up eating in my mums home which is out of this world.
Then all the food I learnt on my own through television shows and books I have read .
My favourites from my blog.
Then the food I make for my kids.
The food I make for Christmas.
Then  a recipe each I learnt from my friends Mini Mathur, Shaheen Abbas, Banita Hamal, Eefa Shroff , Amit Ashar , Sheeba Hussain and one with Special Permission from My Principal Andrew Maxwell at Tante Marie.

After I put all this together.
It was time for me to put it in a book format.
And for the life of me , I could not understand how.
So first I just thought maybe I should do a seasonal menu, then I changed it to a festival menu ,then when nothing made sense I just shut it all  and waited for a flash of brilliance , which never came ha ha ha .

Then I just went down to basics.
I'm not a chef.
I never will claim to be one .
But I'm in love with the process of creating food and feeding people that I love .
(So ya there goes the business venture, since I cannot tell people , I don't like you , please I'm not letting you buy my bread ha ha ha )

And so finally I decided to divide my book into Months .
And dedicated each month to a person, friends or then an occasion or feeling and soon I was in business.
I then got down to making menus and getting my recipes in order.
So I had 7 recipes from my friends, now I could start my book..
All I needed was 65 more of my own favourite recipes..aaah ha ha ha ha
And that was a bloody pain.
And to further throw salt on my wound , I get to know, that most recipe book writers have a team of people , who research ideas, recipes, do trials, tastings and ideate and put a book together.
so I promptly called Ajay and asked him ''Where is my team?" and Ajay being Ajay says to me, "Babes, you are your own team" aaah ha ha ha , we both laughed about it , and I went back like Cinders to my kitchen, at times I was so fed up trying to develop something, I used to sit hoping I meet a brilliant chef like the rat in Ratatouille ..ha ha ha
Yup I was going slightly cuckoo..
And I had Ajay to blame for it ...

I had to jot down everything to its last tsp and ml, oh my God , and I had 72 recipes.
Everything in the book I cooked more than twice, once to try it out , the second time to see if it really works , so had friends to taste it and then finally for the shoot .
Some recipes I cooked just once, those are my favorites.
Some I cooked photographed and then felt...Naaaaah

The shoot was a mad, fun, crazy affair.
That took its own sweet time, in the middle of moving kitchens and then house and of course holidays and kids exams ..

Amit Ashar my friend and fantabulous photographer agreed to be part of this roller-coaster ride, he always knew how he wanted to shoot it.
And there is no one who could have shot this book with so much warmth and sunshine like he does, he is a Virgo , so he always finds something beautiful in every picture, to bring out its story..
So he only wanted it to be shot in real sunlight..
Under a tree that would provide a lovely dappled effect caused by the leaves, swaying in the breeze.
And that was his take on how it should be .
And I trusted his judgement and went with it .

Sambo my clothes stylist since MTV, was going to style my table , and between her and Amit, they decided on colours for every month .
And moved pots and plants , together , Sambo scouted around for cute stuff to put on the table and got various combinations of table cloths .

Bhavna came with food from her home,and I exchanged mine for hers ,because I did not want to eat my own food at all, except some times.
And she then slipped into the role of reflector holder and general calm bringer.

And then there was Vijay my helper and Sous Chef , who has been with me for 10 years, he understands my kitchen madness and without his efficiency in handling my ingredients and my kitchen quirks , I would not have be able to do this easily.

We all went about our chosen business.
I cooked and plated my food, without adding anything artificial , or overcooking or under cooking it, to enhance its appeal.
What you see is what you get.

Zeke , Zene and Arshad were my permanent Guinea pigs and my most straight forward critics, but after some time the kids began to believe that , they had to critique all the food that came on to the table ..
" Mama these eggs are a bit too hard boiled"
"Why are we eating dal again?"
"So why are we eating food ,that is not going in the book"
Oh my God.......so I had to politely tell them that , they would get a kick on their collective arse's, if they did not quietly eat what was served on the table ..
"That's just not fair, now that we have told you how to make your dishes tastier, you are being mean "
And so the saga went on...

Simultaneous along with the cooking, I also began writing and realised that nothing was flowing out of me , as it did so easily in the blog.
Maybe I needed a muse ?? Ha ha ha
And so I realised that the only way I could write was when I was not told that I had to..
Ya .. So I realised I have some issues concerning authority , regularity and freedom..

But I slowly put pen to paper..
And on good days, wrote like a fiend.
I also began running..
And the more I ran ..
The more I wrote..
The more I wrote ..
The more I cooked ..
And the more I cooked ..
The more I had to run..

My book then went into edit and came back , with a maximum of five lines per recipe.
Ha ha ha so I know that this was a recipe book and I need not have a story to all of them ..
But I guess I had a lot to say ..

So I have lots of the written word ,stored with me ..
Along with a whole lot of recipes that I replaced in this book ..

But I'm happy with what has happened to it .
Amit then introduced me to Sucharita who did the final design of my book. And I could not have asked for someone who understood me better..

Well Ajay, Dipa, Shoili , Sharboni, Amit, Sambo, Vijay, Bhavna and me are pretty happy with what we have in hand ..

And Arshad is happy that I finally learnt to cook small quantities ..

All is well that begins well..
Our book is out on the 15th , I think the best is yet to come ..

DAY 118 - FOCACCIA

So who does not like being in love...
I don't know anyone, who does not like that feeling..
Unless of course it is unrequited, but then..
Life is unpredictable ..
S@/#* Happens !!!

But that's another blog...ha ha ha

So let's get back to being in love..
I love it ..
Totally and truly..
And what I love most ,is that big fat smile, that just does not go away..

In life I feel it's very important for love to be part of your life..
Whether in the form of people, animals or a passion..
It just makes life a better way to live..

There are a few people that I completely love in my life, but I'm not going to give you any names, because I don't want to be politically incorrect , I'm trying to not always put my foot in my mouth..this year ..

Then there is Taz my 16 year old mix-breed doggy-love-muffin,  who is a cross between my Golden retriever Betty-Boo and my Boxer Ninja..

NINJA & BETTY-BOO

TAZ TIGI WARSI

I love him, like totally love him, and I know he has not too much time, because he is really old and has arthritis, and he has to go one day, and he will, till then I will just love him to bits..

Then , the other love of my life is travel, and that is something that I plan to do voraciously, for the rest of my life.
 

     To go to a new place and find my way around with a map, or just get lost and discover paths, old structures full of history and their food culture is one of my most satiating joys..Oh and of course shopping ha ha ha ...Then there is running that I do, really well, physically and mentally..ha ha ha

And then of course there is food..
That I fell in love with very very organically ,and have discovered so many nuances about myself , and about the art of making "Food Glorious Food" ..
That I realised that it is one of my happy places..

I also realised that sometimes, love is all about timing..
And timing and me , are old friends , that have always missed one another..
And on the occasions that we were able to meet..
It has been totally magical..
I have a lot to thank God for ,and I do..

I think saying Thank-you is the most amazing thing you can do in life, not only because it is a good thing to do , but also because, it acknowledges the kindness and love in the other person...

Ok so ,for starters I'm over the moon, that I'm interning in a Patisserie near my home.
It's called "Petits Plaisirs Patisserie ", and Chef Javed is just the most talented and patient and generous Chef I have met.

Chef Javed

This is the first time , I'm actually working in a kitchen , and I hope to work here for a good amount of time.
I would have liked to go back to school , but that is really not possible anymore, and so my pastry school is going to be this Kitchen.
And I have a really wonderful set of talented pastry Chefs in the making , that I get to work with everyday.
Saachi, Niyati, Chef Ajit, Amit, and Swapnil...
And then there is Chef Javed, who has such a positive , quite, generous way of running his Patisserie, that I feel totally lucky to be part of their everyday craziness in the kitchen.








So today I'm going to share with you something that I have wanted to make since my Friend Shalini, took me to this Bakery somewhere off Jersey, and introduced me to this totally yummy Focaccia..

It was light , totally tasty, had a layer of apples on its crust and was served with a drizzle of a balsamic reduction..
And , it has been haunting me ever since I bit into its yumminess in May.

So last evening after work , all I wanted to do is make this , and eat it ..
So here it is

FOCACCIA...
INGREDIENTS

All purpose flour- 260gm
Yeast - 10 gm
Water - 150 ml..but don't pour all in together.
Olive oil - 4 tbsp
Chili flakes- 1 tsp
Mixed herbs - 1 tbsp
Rock salt - a sprinkle
Apples- 1 ,thickly sliced
Olive oil- 1/2 tbsp
Butter -1 tsp
Cinnamon - a pinch

METHOD

Mix the yeast into 100 ml of water and keep aside, for 2-3 minutes, then add 11/2 tbsp of oil to the water and yeast mix.
Add the above mixture to the flour and very slowly bring it all together, add the remaining 50 ml water to the flour , and see to it that the dough is not too sticky.
Over turn this mixture on to a little flour and knead it well for about 5-7 minutes.
Leave it to prove, in a bowl , which  you have nicely smeared with the remaining oil.
After about 40 minutes to an hour , it will have doubled in size,(I left my dough in the fridge overnight ) knock it down , add the remaining oil , from the bowl and all the herbs, knead it all into the dough, and shape it in to a nice circle , not more than 5 inches inches in diameter , and leave it to prove again.
Then after 25 minutes when it has proved again, just very gently press it flat with your finger tips.
Now arranged the cooled cooked Apples on to its surface, and sprinkle it with rock salt,  and leave it to prove for another 25 minutes.
Pre-heat the oven to 200 degrees and bake the Focaccia for about 18-20 minutes.

Apple topping 
Heat a non stick pan and then add the oil,then the butter and as soon as it sizzles , add the apples to the heated pan and  let it cook for about 3 minutes on either side .
Sprinkle with cinnamon and leave it to cool 

Serve it with some balsamic reduction or just plain olive oil and Balsamic vinegar will also do ..


And so this morning , after I had baked my bread, I most greedily bit into it while it was really hot .

And all the different flavours, just burst into me like a rainbow in the sky..
Yes please have it with a little Balsamic and olive oil emulsification..
The soft herb bread, the sweet apples , the sea salt and the balsamic , together is just a party that you will not want to stop .

You know in life , it takes all kind of experiences to make life well lived.
The bad to appreciate the good, and the Good to get over the bad.
That is the circle of our life and I bet you , that no one single person can escape this.

It takes all kinds of interactions in life to bring out the best in you .
And yes , I do believe that , everything you want does come to you , at the time it is supposed to .
And sometimes it just does not ..
Well at times like that , just go for a run ,cry your heart out..
And get back to getting used to the fact , that life gives you almost everything , but keeps you wanting ..
And if you are able to let go of the wanting ..
You eventually find your place of peace and happiness..eventually ..

Ok in my opinion, things can make you happy for a bit ..
People for a while more..
But ultimately things break ..
And people break up with you ..

Just don't give up on your own little fire that shines so bright ..
There is so much love inside us ..
But it's funny how we are always looking out ..
No one can make you feel loved or make you happy
Unless you yourself are not in peace and a little in love with yourself ..

I'm serious, don't laugh ,I know it sounds weird ..
I'm sure you think I'm cuckoo..
And of course you are right ..
But just think about what I said ..

While I just bite into this really yummy piece of flour ,that has magically transformed itself in a fluffy piece of Focaccia, after it has been , beaten and pounded and had to also go through fire ..
Well that's the way life is ..

Home-made Apple topped Focaccia

  I

I really loved my Focaccia , please do try and bake it, and please do send me photos at my Twitter handle @mariagorettiz..

With much love from "Maria's Kitchen"
See you all again soon , as soon as I fall in love with another incredible morsel of food ..

DAY 117 - PALAK PANEER ..FROM MY KITCHEN TO YOURS..

And so how you live life , or live with the choices you make ..
Is what finally makes or breaks you ..
All of us are beautiful inside out ..
That's my consensus..

And then life happens ..
How we behave during the great times and deal with the bad times..
Is the stuff our core is made of..

Some of us are easy to please ..
Some sceptical of every move ..
And yet others who just take each day and confuse the hell out of it ..
Some live within a picket fence, too worried to step outside..
And then some just live , each day like it maybe their last ..

I have realised that , what's food to one , maybe poison to someone else!
And what's special to one , maybe average to someone else ..

So the best way to live , is to see that you are at Peace with yourself ..
We'll easier said than done ..

Yesterday after two years of writing and trying out recipes..
Shooting , re-shooting ..
Scrapping every word I wrote ,to writing again ..

I finally closed the final draft of my book !
I was so so happy and , so relieved ...
I sighed a loooong sigh of relief!
I don't think I have worked so hard in a long time ..
And after ,I finished reading it from first word to last word..
My life actually played out to me, in the many hues and colours that I have lived..
And I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of people that I have to thank ..
That I did..
Really hope I don't forget anyone..

Because unlike so many chefs , who are able to churn out books ..
This one baby has been quite difficult ..

So today in the middle of this book discussion..
Let me lead you to my recipe of "Palak Paneer" ..
I know , that for most of you , this must be part of your weekly cuisine..
But for me it is special, because I never ever , had this as a kid..
So here it is , something common that is special to me.. ..

http://youtu.be/tdGX36IHf34


So getting back to my book..
It's my love-child ..
And it's always going to be , most special..
Yesterday , reading through it, was fun and also a very emotional evening for me ..
Every recipe, had a story , in my head that I may or may not have told ..
And frankly , like my editor told me , it's a recipe book , not a diary ha ha ha ..
So there is very little chatter..ha ha ha

So I will continue to blog ..
As I always do have a lot to say ..
And it just gives me immense peace to have just said ,what I feel ..
Really try it ..
It feels good ..

So my book ,is now on its way to get "Proof-read" ..
Then we will do a dummy book to check ink on paper and colour..
And then , it will get into production ..

I don't know if I'm ever going to do another book..
But I'm not going to say "never"..
Because today my friend Sambo , said to me " All the things that you say , you will NEVER do , is what comes back to bite you ..
So I'm not going to say this is my last book ..
But I'm just going to say ..
I'm really happy and excited about how it has turned out ..

This book has been lots of fun ..
And also a lot of hard work and tears..
There were some days, I had not a word written..
Because I'm not a writer..
And I used to sit with my phone ..
(Oh yes , I wrote this entire book on my phone..)
And wait .. And felt .. Oh my god ,what the hell , have I got myself into !!

But I also realised..
That the way in, is also the way out ..
And the way out, is the way in ..
Ha ha ha ha
I hope you are as confused as I am ..

See the thing is..
I just gave it my best shot ..
The rest , I have left to the forces of the universe ..

Maybe like how I find "Palak Paneer " special..
There will be a few people who will find my book special ..
And that's good enough ..

I know that once you bite into my version of "Palak Paneer"
You will love the freshness and the fact that there is no cream in it ..
And it still does not take away from the taste ..
So do make this and let me know how you like it ..

As for me ..
I have written too much ..
Tasted too much ..
Edited too much ..
Cooked too much ..

I now want to go on a holiday ..
Climb up a mountain..
And watch the sun rise ..
Is that too much to ask for ..????
In my scheme of things ..
Not at all ..
You have to just want it badly enough ..

And I want to go to Machu Pichu ..

So as I sit here , at my computer , biting into roti and Palak paneer , and reading bits from my book" "From my Kitchen to yours..food, love & other ingredients"
I feel I need to correct some more stuff..
Add a few lines, edit a few words..etc etc..
So will get down to working , till late into the night ..

And when I don't want to work anymore , will count the stars ..
With lotsa love , from "Maria's Kitchen "

DAY - 110 CHEESY BREAD ROLLS

 You know the best relationship you can have in life ...
Is with yourself..
Yes love does make this world go around..
But do you know any loving relationship that is just all about only love and only love ..
Well ...

We go through so many phases in life..
The single want to be in a relationship ..
The ones in a relationship wonder whether it's better to be single..
The ones who have no kids, look with longing at the ones who do ..
And the ones who do , just want a break some times..

So yup it's just human to want what you don't have or can't have ..
But what's important in life , is to try and find happiness where you are..
If you can be happy with yourself..
Single, attached, on holiday, at work, pregnant, without kids, with kids, friends or just reading a book under your bed..
I think you will then be just fine..

I sometimes feel like running away ..
Have you ever felt like that ..
With just a book and some money to travel..
Where I'm going to go , what I'm going to do ..
Without a plan..
And that's what makes the whole thought so adventurous..

But I also know that it's really stupid and not practical at all...

A lot of people who are in love with one another..
Run away with one another..
And then real life catches up with them..

Which is why most of the amazing love stories in the world end in a tragedy..

Seriously ..
What does this say about love ..

I'm not a cynic..
I'm all for love and its myriad complications...
I'm also impulsive and mercurial..
Not at all a good combination at all ha ha ha ...

And so with life I have understood a few things..
To get to the top of the mountain, you need to walk up, the view will get better slowly..
Very slowly ..if you try and race to the top, your body does not acclimatise ....
you just have to take it slow..
You cannot make someone love you , even if you want them too..
But you can love who you want to , there is no tax on that ..
Sometimes it's nicer to walk away than spoil what you have in a relationship..
Sometimes it's very very imperative that you speak your mind..so you have no regrets..
Kids will be there own person, not an extension of you (note to self)..
As a caretaker we have to keep them safe and bring them up as good caring human beings...
And so on and so forth ..

I grew up believing in star signs, then one day I read I'm not Sagittarius but some new star sign called Ophiuchus....
Whaaaaat ?
 I mean really ..So does this change my entire chemistry with other star signs...
So do I get along with the earth sign or are we not supposed to ..
Is the water sign not going to douse my spirit ..
Will the air sign be there to fan my flames ..
Fire was me ..
Now I am ...what ?

So yup the world sometimes confuses you ..

"Gosh Maria,I never expected this of you "
Oh really ..???
I want to say ..!!!

Why do I have to live up to anyone's expectations ..!
When I have not yet put up a chart for myself..!
I'm me..
I'm just supposed to live ..
I'm supposed to dream , chase my dreams , make mistakes and start all over again..
Alt- Ctrl-Del...
That's just a computer application ..

But yes , I know that in life we get along with some like salt seeps into water ..
And some people are like chalk and cheese..
And then there are still some that are like balsamic Vinegar and Extra virgin olive oil..
That look like they were never meant to be together, but when they emulsify, you just can't separate the two..
It's like soul mates..
It does not really matter post that..
Because that taste of the emulsification just stays..

Oh gosh I'm really getting soppy ..
Ha ha ha..
Ok today I want to share with you ..

http://youtu.be/hEeWG81dOZ0


This is just the nicest combination of ingredients ..
And gives you a bread that is beautifully soft , and the flavour of the cheese and the butter , just seals the deal..

Oh yes sometimes you eat bread..
And sometimes you go on a no carbs ways of life ..
Basically it's your life ..
Do what you want with it ..

I'm just going to bite into the softness of this home-made soft cheesy bread that has a healthy dousing of butter , and it's filled with love from me to you only from "Maria's Kitchen"...

I MET AN OLIVE RIDLEY SEA TURTLE

So yesterday as usual I was running on Juhu beach , when I came across a turtle stranded, it had quite a crowd gathered around it , it had its left front fin missing..
The little fellow, actually he has about 21/2 ft was trying to get back into the sea but was unable to swim back against the thrashing waves on the shore!

There was another gentleman there like me who kept trying to call an animal rescue number , but so early in the morning , nobody was really picking up the calls!
I then tweeted a video of the Olive Ridley Sea turtle , and Prerna Pradhan responded with a number that I called!
It was the number of Nilesh from P.A.W.S. who immediately sent Kala  to have the turtle collected!
While all this was happening, there were lots of concerned citizens who came to that spot , and were asking if anyone has called for help ,because most did not have a phone as they were on their morning walk or jog !
And the ones that did have phones, were clicking their fingers in its face and taking photos!
I think we sincerely need to include ,'How to behave with animals " as part of our learning in school.

I was there for an hour and a half , with this other concerned gentleman , whose name I did not ask, and 4 other guys.
In that 11/2 hour , there were many attempts made to put the turtle back in the water, but he just always landed back on the shore!
By around 8 am ,after I had picked Zeke from his Athletics  training , we sped back to that spot, because I just wanted  that turtle to be in safe  hands !
There were 6 of us who were there hanging around the turtle for that whole time till he got rescued!
In the interim period , many came took photographs and left ,some prodded him and some waved in front of his face...Seriously !!
And then one elderly guy who picks plastics off the beach , wanted to take him to put him back into the water , on another part of the beach!
When we did not let him touch the turtle,he got really upset and gave all of us ,trivia about Turtles like he had done an In-depth study about them ,because he spent so many years on this beach ..

I sat next to the turtle just before he was taken away and petted his wrinkly neck ..
He did not move away or flinch !
Not because he liked me ,but more because I think he was scared,I don't know, I'm just assuming stuff here!

But it felt good to sit next to this beautiful sea -turtle !
Zeke and me wondered how his fin got cut!
Maybe it was stuck in a fisher's net, maybe it was a shark attack or then maybe a propeller..
I don't really know..
But I was happy that I went running yesterday and chanced upon him ..

You don't always get a chance to meet an animal from the wild !
And further more, to even be part of the crowd of people, to rescue one !
But to meet an injured animal , is a very sad feeling, how scared he must be, away from his family , his habitat, among humans, chatting around him, carrying him to take him back to sea, and some waving in his face!
Everytime a wave washed near him, he would turn towards it and try to walk back into the sea, but was unable to .
But he never really gave up you know.
There is a lot we can learn from nature , if we are just willing to observe and not own, or destroy!

The gentleman in the blue t-shirt who was there throughout and only left when the animal rescue person came , I wish I had got his name !

I felt very good yesterday after a very long time !
I felt one with the universe !
I felt like even if we can all do a little bit of good..
It all just binds us together in a circle of life !

As for the turtle, he is in hospital!

And from here , he will go to the Dahanu Wildlife Rehab Center, that already has 50-60 turtles that have been stranded on various beaches, whose fins get chopped due to the fishermen's nets!!

The police on Juhu Beach took my name and number , along with the rescue workers , before they let the turtle be taken from that shore!
So I do feel like I belong to him in some way !
He chose me ..
And it made me feel very wanted and special.

The last time I saw a green sea turtle , it was in the Reef waters of Australia , where it so beautifully swam near me , so I reached out and touched it 's back..

I'm glad I saw this turtle on the beach and I'm glad he was rescued!
But it was heart-breaking to see it had a fin missing !

You know in life , we come a cross so many people every-day !
We don't know there stories or their lives!
They may all look physically perfect !
But let me tell you from experience , that none of us are fully whole on the inside!
Most of us have more brokenness that anyone can imagine !
So with this thought , if we can just be nice to the people we meet !
And treat everyone with kindness!
I'm sure we would all be investing in a better world for our children and the ones to come !

Have a lovely blessed day

DAY 116 - TEHRI...OR THEN MERI..HA HA HA

Sometimes I find much solace in words..
Sometimes I feel like if I'm not able to say, what I want ,my heart will burst ..
Have you ever felt like that ?

And so when I started my blog in 2010 ...
It was just that..
It was a vent ...
A passage ..
A walk ..
A run ..
A trek ..
All in one !

I really did not think or measure my words!
Before I pressed, the send button..
Never edited it , except for grammatical errors or spelling mistakes ..
The rest ,was just ,what flowed through ..

It did not matter to me ,whether anyone read what I wrote or everyone read what I wrote ..
To me it was catharsis ..
It was release ..
It was my stage with or without an audience ..
I still danced ..
Sometime it was pantomime..
Sometimes it was Tap..
Sometimes Jazz..
Sometimes the waltz..

And with every send ..
Something inside me set sail into the galaxy...
Like the universe is now part of me ..
And I had slowly found my little corner in the shade of an elm tree..

That was just mine ..

And whose shade, I could share ,with whomsoever I choose to ..

Where I lay down under ..
Looked up at the skies ..
Inhaled the flowers..
Watched birds fly ..
Squinted at the sun..
Smiles at the moon..
And generally learned to be happy with myself ..
I learnt a lot from the ones who wrote back to me ..

I felt a beautiful circle of life forming ..
And I realised that it does not matter who you are , where you come from , what you do or don't do in life ..
It's what you feel and what you do about those feelings that really matters ..

I learnt to cook very very slowly ..
I learnt to enjoy that process..

With every mistake , my resolve to get it right , just grew stronger ..
I loved the hap hazardness of the way I put things together ..
I was not traditional in my approach , I was not right , but neither did it feel wrong..
The food on my plate evolved..
The ingredients I used changed a bit..
Or then , i just started adding  new stuff to the old..

I know I'm not a writer ..
Not in the traditional sense..
I'm just a product of feelings and emotions ..
That's what drives me ..
I need to feel it ..
I can't weave words out of thin air ..
Like my friend Jaya, who is just a beautiful writer , and magically spins words like spells..
Or my friend Lalita who is just the funniest and most practical writer I have read ..

Sometimes I felt that I wrote so much ,that I had driven myself to the edge of the water..
Where either ,I needed to retreat or then  swim ..
Sometimes I just sat there , looking at the waves..
Sometimes just walked on the waters edge ..
And then sometimes just swam till the saltiness and me were one ..

Writing to me is like cooking ..
And cooking to me is like the stupid poetry I write ..
Maybe not everyone gets it ..
And frankly I'm fine with that..
Maybe it's not meant for everyone ..
Just me ..

I realised that cooking is an extension of how I feel ..
And writing is the sides , that I serve my food with ..

I want to learn more and more..
I want to learn how to make traditional Indian food..
To get the tadka just right ..
To be able to make Kashmiri food ..
To learn stuff from my friends Mums ..

To learn Indian from my friend Mini, who has a special magical hand ..

To capture my mums essence in the food I make, which is really difficult ..

To just explore ..
Every facet of life that I can ..
To start at the bottom ..
I'm fine with that ..

So today I'm going to share with you a dish I learnt from my friend Jaya..
She writes as beautifully as her green eyes smoulder..

http://youtu.be/thE57sRFeFc

It's a simple dish ..

It's something her mum Aunty Mridula makes , that she passed down to me !
And I enjoyed every moment of cooking it ..
It can also be made with meat but that's for another day ..
So after every dish I  cook in my kitchen ..
My crew devours it ..
Ha ha haha
And that's the best part of the show ..
The part that you dont get to see, but the part that feels , absolutely awesome, to me..

So I just want to say , this mustard flavoured rice is totally yummy ..
And no you don't have to measure your calories or your carb intake all the time ..
Enjoy it ..
For what it is..
Tomorrow is another day..

So while I ate greedy morsels of this amazing Tehri..
I was thinking ..
There is so much you can learn from everyone you meet ..
And all you have to do is be open to the experience ..

Everyone comes into your life for a reason ..
Some change your life 360 degrees..
And sometimes you bring a magical change into theirs ..

So live each moment and enjoy each morsel of food ..
Take chances..

But remember ..

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts and don't let anyone be reckless with yours..

This is from the Baz Luhrmann song "Everybody's  free to wear sunscreen " that my dearest friend Nikhil Chinnapa introduced me too, eons ago ,that is like a bible for life ..

http://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

Well the first part of that sentence I do practice , the second part , is still under construction 

..

Sometimes when you love someone , you trust them , to not be reckless , with your breakable heart , but things always or mostly never go according to plan ..

But you can keep the love ,that is you always glowing ..

Choose to be happy ..

Choose to live life with all your awesomeness..

And remember , to keep coming back here because , we have lots more to talk about to one another over plates of food made with lotsa love ..
Siempre from , "Maria's Kitchen"