DAY 92 : SIMPLY ME ..

And so do you think it's easy or difficult being a woman..
I don't mean in society ..
I just mean on your own..

I mean how many roles do you play in a day..
At the end of it all, think we may just turn into "loony schizophrenics"...
For lack of a better word..

Let me just say at the onset , that NO , I would never want to be a guy..
I love being a woman...

I love the fact that I can love as intensely as I can get mad, and cry as softly as the kisses I give and hug like there is no tomorrow....

But sometimes just trying to find me, in the day drives me totally mad...
I wake up like mom..
Go on to screaming mum, then feeding mum..
Then running to the bus stop mum..
Then heaving a sigh mum..
Then turn into mad gym person..
Crazy running person..
And then peace finding yoga happy person...

It then continues oscillating between, mum, friend, buddy, memsahib, fish buyer, vegetable vendor bargainer, writer, the cooking person, the feeding and bathing person, the person that gets told,"we don't like you"...

To the one who remembers birthdays..
Buys gifts..
Keeps the house clean..

Spends time hugging Taz (the family pet)..
Dozes of  because of lack of caffeine..and sleep..
Decides on how to feed the lot , nutritious food disguised like non- boring food..
Read junk..
Then tries and finishes the day at least by 9 , so that she has some time to herself..to comb her hair, read something she likes , or listen to music, write and try and have some "Me time"
I think this is what all the women in the world do ..
More if not less..

And so today I'm making a meal I would like to eat in peace, listening to Maroon 5 croon my favourite song at the moment, as I cook...

Addicted to this song..

INGREDIENTS

Lamb mince- 500 gm

Onion - 3 finely diced

Ginger - 1 Tsp

Garlic - 6 cloves

Tomato - 3 cubed

Chili powder - 11/2 tsp

Coriander powder - 1 1/2 tsp

Garam Masala - 1 1/2 tsp

Haldi - 1/2 tsp

Water - 500 ml

Oil - 2 tbsp

Salt to taste

METHOD

In a non-stick pan over a medium flame, add the oil.

Then add the garlic, do not burn it.

Add the ginger.

Add the onions and cook them till they get translucent about 15 minutes..

Add the tomatoes and cook them till you see the oil separating from the tomato - onion .

Add the haldi, chili , coriander and the garam masala powder ..

Let it all get very well mixed and fried into the onion and tomatoes..

About10 minutes..

Then add the water and shut the lid and let it cook for about 15 minutes , and then open the lid and let it cook for another 30 minutes , or till you get the consistency you want, either dry or a bit of gravy..

Taste it, season with salt ..

Its done..

And while I was cooking I was wondering..
How do I find me time..
How do I pander to my wishes..
What if I do not want to wake up early..

Sometimes, I just feel like dressing up and going out..
Just for me, just look stunning..
Without a care in the world..
Without wondering, if Zene has woken up and is asking for me..
If Zeke still has a blanket on him...

Sometimes I really wonder what I would do, if I did not have to keep switching from Mother earth, fairy god-mother , to witch ,to dragon slayer, kung-fu panda, love Godess, David Beckham, to lioness, to cub-tamer, hunter , circus trainer , Florence nightingale, Jessica Rabbit, Tom and Jerry , Juliet , Nigella Lawson etc etc ...

I think sometimes, I just want to run away..
Just for a few hours..
Blow dry my hair..instead of making a wet bun..
Sit at a cafe..instead of driving hurriedly around..
Read a book in a library very slowly like I have all the time in the world..instead of the newspaper while  I'm trying to make sense of the day..
Sip on champagne..instead of vegetable juice
Nibble on something uber gourmet ,like the French women do..
Wear the highest heels I have, not my keds..
Wear a beautiful flowing dress, instead of jeans and a t-shirt..

Dab on more than my usual amount of Kenzo..

And just drive into the sunset..
Where I find the most beautiful music playing..
And dance, while I smile at the setting sun..
Then ride away on a beautiful horse..
To a mountain side..
Go swimming in the moonlight..
And drink wine at a vineyard..
Sighhhhhhhh......

Well I could write a book on what I really want to do ..

Sometimes I actually dress up and get out, not because I want to go to a particular party, but because I just want to meet me..ha ha ha 

But I think we were all made for a purpose..
And each one made special and unique..
We all come with our own set of super powers and flaws..

As for me, "I'm a mum, what's your super power"..

That's what I say when someone asks me , what I do...ha ha ha
I think  , we all have our own special place in this world , mine is to be the protector and dragon slayer of these two little munchkin's ..
And so I'm my own Lara Croft..
And that's  how it works.

It's because of my ZZ's that I'm a better person, that I understood the meaning of loving someone regardless, the reason I found my love for food, what made me a lioness, a witch and a heart of mush all rolled into one...
What makes me more forgiving I think..

Ya , it's not easy being a woman...
But....

It is best person I could be..

So while I have made this Kheema look really cool in these beautiful pastry cones, served on a bed of kale chips drizzled with olive oil , I sit beneath the stars ,still in my gym clothes, because I just worked out...

Why now , you are asking...??????

DID YOU  NOT READ ALL I WROTE, I HAVE NO SPARE TIME SOMETIMES..

But I'm looking at my new kitchen being built..

And that makes me happy...

I bite into the crispiness of "Simply Me", which is a  pastry stuffed with yummy Kheema  most fashionably , and I take a tiny bite of the kale chips very daintily and of course the succulent cherry tomatoes..

I'm thinking, "Tonight I will sip on a glass of Merlot or a Pinot Noir" and just let my heart and mind relax and wander..

While I listen to Billy Joel sing to me "She's always a woman to me"....
And I think to myself, "what a wonderful world"..