DAY 117 - PALAK PANEER ..FROM MY KITCHEN TO YOURS..

And so how you live life , or live with the choices you make ..
Is what finally makes or breaks you ..
All of us are beautiful inside out ..
That's my consensus..

And then life happens ..
How we behave during the great times and deal with the bad times..
Is the stuff our core is made of..

Some of us are easy to please ..
Some sceptical of every move ..
And yet others who just take each day and confuse the hell out of it ..
Some live within a picket fence, too worried to step outside..
And then some just live , each day like it maybe their last ..

I have realised that , what's food to one , maybe poison to someone else!
And what's special to one , maybe average to someone else ..

So the best way to live , is to see that you are at Peace with yourself ..
We'll easier said than done ..

Yesterday after two years of writing and trying out recipes..
Shooting , re-shooting ..
Scrapping every word I wrote ,to writing again ..

I finally closed the final draft of my book !
I was so so happy and , so relieved ...
I sighed a loooong sigh of relief!
I don't think I have worked so hard in a long time ..
And after ,I finished reading it from first word to last word..
My life actually played out to me, in the many hues and colours that I have lived..
And I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of people that I have to thank ..
That I did..
Really hope I don't forget anyone..

Because unlike so many chefs , who are able to churn out books ..
This one baby has been quite difficult ..

So today in the middle of this book discussion..
Let me lead you to my recipe of "Palak Paneer" ..
I know , that for most of you , this must be part of your weekly cuisine..
But for me it is special, because I never ever , had this as a kid..
So here it is , something common that is special to me.. ..

http://youtu.be/tdGX36IHf34


So getting back to my book..
It's my love-child ..
And it's always going to be , most special..
Yesterday , reading through it, was fun and also a very emotional evening for me ..
Every recipe, had a story , in my head that I may or may not have told ..
And frankly , like my editor told me , it's a recipe book , not a diary ha ha ha ..
So there is very little chatter..ha ha ha

So I will continue to blog ..
As I always do have a lot to say ..
And it just gives me immense peace to have just said ,what I feel ..
Really try it ..
It feels good ..

So my book ,is now on its way to get "Proof-read" ..
Then we will do a dummy book to check ink on paper and colour..
And then , it will get into production ..

I don't know if I'm ever going to do another book..
But I'm not going to say "never"..
Because today my friend Sambo , said to me " All the things that you say , you will NEVER do , is what comes back to bite you ..
So I'm not going to say this is my last book ..
But I'm just going to say ..
I'm really happy and excited about how it has turned out ..

This book has been lots of fun ..
And also a lot of hard work and tears..
There were some days, I had not a word written..
Because I'm not a writer..
And I used to sit with my phone ..
(Oh yes , I wrote this entire book on my phone..)
And wait .. And felt .. Oh my god ,what the hell , have I got myself into !!

But I also realised..
That the way in, is also the way out ..
And the way out, is the way in ..
Ha ha ha ha
I hope you are as confused as I am ..

See the thing is..
I just gave it my best shot ..
The rest , I have left to the forces of the universe ..

Maybe like how I find "Palak Paneer " special..
There will be a few people who will find my book special ..
And that's good enough ..

I know that once you bite into my version of "Palak Paneer"
You will love the freshness and the fact that there is no cream in it ..
And it still does not take away from the taste ..
So do make this and let me know how you like it ..

As for me ..
I have written too much ..
Tasted too much ..
Edited too much ..
Cooked too much ..

I now want to go on a holiday ..
Climb up a mountain..
And watch the sun rise ..
Is that too much to ask for ..????
In my scheme of things ..
Not at all ..
You have to just want it badly enough ..

And I want to go to Machu Pichu ..

So as I sit here , at my computer , biting into roti and Palak paneer , and reading bits from my book" "From my Kitchen to yours..food, love & other ingredients"
I feel I need to correct some more stuff..
Add a few lines, edit a few words..etc etc..
So will get down to working , till late into the night ..

And when I don't want to work anymore , will count the stars ..
With lotsa love , from "Maria's Kitchen "

DAY - 110 CHEESY BREAD ROLLS

 You know the best relationship you can have in life ...
Is with yourself..
Yes love does make this world go around..
But do you know any loving relationship that is just all about only love and only love ..
Well ...

We go through so many phases in life..
The single want to be in a relationship ..
The ones in a relationship wonder whether it's better to be single..
The ones who have no kids, look with longing at the ones who do ..
And the ones who do , just want a break some times..

So yup it's just human to want what you don't have or can't have ..
But what's important in life , is to try and find happiness where you are..
If you can be happy with yourself..
Single, attached, on holiday, at work, pregnant, without kids, with kids, friends or just reading a book under your bed..
I think you will then be just fine..

I sometimes feel like running away ..
Have you ever felt like that ..
With just a book and some money to travel..
Where I'm going to go , what I'm going to do ..
Without a plan..
And that's what makes the whole thought so adventurous..

But I also know that it's really stupid and not practical at all...

A lot of people who are in love with one another..
Run away with one another..
And then real life catches up with them..

Which is why most of the amazing love stories in the world end in a tragedy..

Seriously ..
What does this say about love ..

I'm not a cynic..
I'm all for love and its myriad complications...
I'm also impulsive and mercurial..
Not at all a good combination at all ha ha ha ...

And so with life I have understood a few things..
To get to the top of the mountain, you need to walk up, the view will get better slowly..
Very slowly ..if you try and race to the top, your body does not acclimatise ....
you just have to take it slow..
You cannot make someone love you , even if you want them too..
But you can love who you want to , there is no tax on that ..
Sometimes it's nicer to walk away than spoil what you have in a relationship..
Sometimes it's very very imperative that you speak your mind..so you have no regrets..
Kids will be there own person, not an extension of you (note to self)..
As a caretaker we have to keep them safe and bring them up as good caring human beings...
And so on and so forth ..

I grew up believing in star signs, then one day I read I'm not Sagittarius but some new star sign called Ophiuchus....
Whaaaaat ?
 I mean really ..So does this change my entire chemistry with other star signs...
So do I get along with the earth sign or are we not supposed to ..
Is the water sign not going to douse my spirit ..
Will the air sign be there to fan my flames ..
Fire was me ..
Now I am ...what ?

So yup the world sometimes confuses you ..

"Gosh Maria,I never expected this of you "
Oh really ..???
I want to say ..!!!

Why do I have to live up to anyone's expectations ..!
When I have not yet put up a chart for myself..!
I'm me..
I'm just supposed to live ..
I'm supposed to dream , chase my dreams , make mistakes and start all over again..
Alt- Ctrl-Del...
That's just a computer application ..

But yes , I know that in life we get along with some like salt seeps into water ..
And some people are like chalk and cheese..
And then there are still some that are like balsamic Vinegar and Extra virgin olive oil..
That look like they were never meant to be together, but when they emulsify, you just can't separate the two..
It's like soul mates..
It does not really matter post that..
Because that taste of the emulsification just stays..

Oh gosh I'm really getting soppy ..
Ha ha ha..
Ok today I want to share with you ..

http://youtu.be/hEeWG81dOZ0


This is just the nicest combination of ingredients ..
And gives you a bread that is beautifully soft , and the flavour of the cheese and the butter , just seals the deal..

Oh yes sometimes you eat bread..
And sometimes you go on a no carbs ways of life ..
Basically it's your life ..
Do what you want with it ..

I'm just going to bite into the softness of this home-made soft cheesy bread that has a healthy dousing of butter , and it's filled with love from me to you only from "Maria's Kitchen"...

I MET AN OLIVE RIDLEY SEA TURTLE

So yesterday as usual I was running on Juhu beach , when I came across a turtle stranded, it had quite a crowd gathered around it , it had its left front fin missing..
The little fellow, actually he has about 21/2 ft was trying to get back into the sea but was unable to swim back against the thrashing waves on the shore!

There was another gentleman there like me who kept trying to call an animal rescue number , but so early in the morning , nobody was really picking up the calls!
I then tweeted a video of the Olive Ridley Sea turtle , and Prerna Pradhan responded with a number that I called!
It was the number of Nilesh from P.A.W.S. who immediately sent Kala  to have the turtle collected!
While all this was happening, there were lots of concerned citizens who came to that spot , and were asking if anyone has called for help ,because most did not have a phone as they were on their morning walk or jog !
And the ones that did have phones, were clicking their fingers in its face and taking photos!
I think we sincerely need to include ,'How to behave with animals " as part of our learning in school.

I was there for an hour and a half , with this other concerned gentleman , whose name I did not ask, and 4 other guys.
In that 11/2 hour , there were many attempts made to put the turtle back in the water, but he just always landed back on the shore!
By around 8 am ,after I had picked Zeke from his Athletics  training , we sped back to that spot, because I just wanted  that turtle to be in safe  hands !
There were 6 of us who were there hanging around the turtle for that whole time till he got rescued!
In the interim period , many came took photographs and left ,some prodded him and some waved in front of his face...Seriously !!
And then one elderly guy who picks plastics off the beach , wanted to take him to put him back into the water , on another part of the beach!
When we did not let him touch the turtle,he got really upset and gave all of us ,trivia about Turtles like he had done an In-depth study about them ,because he spent so many years on this beach ..

I sat next to the turtle just before he was taken away and petted his wrinkly neck ..
He did not move away or flinch !
Not because he liked me ,but more because I think he was scared,I don't know, I'm just assuming stuff here!

But it felt good to sit next to this beautiful sea -turtle !
Zeke and me wondered how his fin got cut!
Maybe it was stuck in a fisher's net, maybe it was a shark attack or then maybe a propeller..
I don't really know..
But I was happy that I went running yesterday and chanced upon him ..

You don't always get a chance to meet an animal from the wild !
And further more, to even be part of the crowd of people, to rescue one !
But to meet an injured animal , is a very sad feeling, how scared he must be, away from his family , his habitat, among humans, chatting around him, carrying him to take him back to sea, and some waving in his face!
Everytime a wave washed near him, he would turn towards it and try to walk back into the sea, but was unable to .
But he never really gave up you know.
There is a lot we can learn from nature , if we are just willing to observe and not own, or destroy!

The gentleman in the blue t-shirt who was there throughout and only left when the animal rescue person came , I wish I had got his name !

I felt very good yesterday after a very long time !
I felt one with the universe !
I felt like even if we can all do a little bit of good..
It all just binds us together in a circle of life !

As for the turtle, he is in hospital!

And from here , he will go to the Dahanu Wildlife Rehab Center, that already has 50-60 turtles that have been stranded on various beaches, whose fins get chopped due to the fishermen's nets!!

The police on Juhu Beach took my name and number , along with the rescue workers , before they let the turtle be taken from that shore!
So I do feel like I belong to him in some way !
He chose me ..
And it made me feel very wanted and special.

The last time I saw a green sea turtle , it was in the Reef waters of Australia , where it so beautifully swam near me , so I reached out and touched it 's back..

I'm glad I saw this turtle on the beach and I'm glad he was rescued!
But it was heart-breaking to see it had a fin missing !

You know in life , we come a cross so many people every-day !
We don't know there stories or their lives!
They may all look physically perfect !
But let me tell you from experience , that none of us are fully whole on the inside!
Most of us have more brokenness that anyone can imagine !
So with this thought , if we can just be nice to the people we meet !
And treat everyone with kindness!
I'm sure we would all be investing in a better world for our children and the ones to come !

Have a lovely blessed day

DAY 116 - TEHRI...OR THEN MERI..HA HA HA

Sometimes I find much solace in words..
Sometimes I feel like if I'm not able to say, what I want ,my heart will burst ..
Have you ever felt like that ?

And so when I started my blog in 2010 ...
It was just that..
It was a vent ...
A passage ..
A walk ..
A run ..
A trek ..
All in one !

I really did not think or measure my words!
Before I pressed, the send button..
Never edited it , except for grammatical errors or spelling mistakes ..
The rest ,was just ,what flowed through ..

It did not matter to me ,whether anyone read what I wrote or everyone read what I wrote ..
To me it was catharsis ..
It was release ..
It was my stage with or without an audience ..
I still danced ..
Sometime it was pantomime..
Sometimes it was Tap..
Sometimes Jazz..
Sometimes the waltz..

And with every send ..
Something inside me set sail into the galaxy...
Like the universe is now part of me ..
And I had slowly found my little corner in the shade of an elm tree..

That was just mine ..

And whose shade, I could share ,with whomsoever I choose to ..

Where I lay down under ..
Looked up at the skies ..
Inhaled the flowers..
Watched birds fly ..
Squinted at the sun..
Smiles at the moon..
And generally learned to be happy with myself ..
I learnt a lot from the ones who wrote back to me ..

I felt a beautiful circle of life forming ..
And I realised that it does not matter who you are , where you come from , what you do or don't do in life ..
It's what you feel and what you do about those feelings that really matters ..

I learnt to cook very very slowly ..
I learnt to enjoy that process..

With every mistake , my resolve to get it right , just grew stronger ..
I loved the hap hazardness of the way I put things together ..
I was not traditional in my approach , I was not right , but neither did it feel wrong..
The food on my plate evolved..
The ingredients I used changed a bit..
Or then , i just started adding  new stuff to the old..

I know I'm not a writer ..
Not in the traditional sense..
I'm just a product of feelings and emotions ..
That's what drives me ..
I need to feel it ..
I can't weave words out of thin air ..
Like my friend Jaya, who is just a beautiful writer , and magically spins words like spells..
Or my friend Lalita who is just the funniest and most practical writer I have read ..

Sometimes I felt that I wrote so much ,that I had driven myself to the edge of the water..
Where either ,I needed to retreat or then  swim ..
Sometimes I just sat there , looking at the waves..
Sometimes just walked on the waters edge ..
And then sometimes just swam till the saltiness and me were one ..

Writing to me is like cooking ..
And cooking to me is like the stupid poetry I write ..
Maybe not everyone gets it ..
And frankly I'm fine with that..
Maybe it's not meant for everyone ..
Just me ..

I realised that cooking is an extension of how I feel ..
And writing is the sides , that I serve my food with ..

I want to learn more and more..
I want to learn how to make traditional Indian food..
To get the tadka just right ..
To be able to make Kashmiri food ..
To learn stuff from my friends Mums ..

To learn Indian from my friend Mini, who has a special magical hand ..

To capture my mums essence in the food I make, which is really difficult ..

To just explore ..
Every facet of life that I can ..
To start at the bottom ..
I'm fine with that ..

So today I'm going to share with you a dish I learnt from my friend Jaya..
She writes as beautifully as her green eyes smoulder..

http://youtu.be/thE57sRFeFc

It's a simple dish ..

It's something her mum Aunty Mridula makes , that she passed down to me !
And I enjoyed every moment of cooking it ..
It can also be made with meat but that's for another day ..
So after every dish I  cook in my kitchen ..
My crew devours it ..
Ha ha haha
And that's the best part of the show ..
The part that you dont get to see, but the part that feels , absolutely awesome, to me..

So I just want to say , this mustard flavoured rice is totally yummy ..
And no you don't have to measure your calories or your carb intake all the time ..
Enjoy it ..
For what it is..
Tomorrow is another day..

So while I ate greedy morsels of this amazing Tehri..
I was thinking ..
There is so much you can learn from everyone you meet ..
And all you have to do is be open to the experience ..

Everyone comes into your life for a reason ..
Some change your life 360 degrees..
And sometimes you bring a magical change into theirs ..

So live each moment and enjoy each morsel of food ..
Take chances..

But remember ..

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts and don't let anyone be reckless with yours..

This is from the Baz Luhrmann song "Everybody's  free to wear sunscreen " that my dearest friend Nikhil Chinnapa introduced me too, eons ago ,that is like a bible for life ..

http://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

Well the first part of that sentence I do practice , the second part , is still under construction 

..

Sometimes when you love someone , you trust them , to not be reckless , with your breakable heart , but things always or mostly never go according to plan ..

But you can keep the love ,that is you always glowing ..

Choose to be happy ..

Choose to live life with all your awesomeness..

And remember , to keep coming back here because , we have lots more to talk about to one another over plates of food made with lotsa love ..
Siempre from , "Maria's Kitchen"

DAY 114 - JUNGLEE MUTTON

So in this world of ours  where most things are artificial and have an expiry date..
How do we know who is really real, in this chemically enhanced journey through life.
Or is it like food, the one that is au Naturale does not have too long a shelf life.
So we are then made to believe, that all that is real will not last.
How can we distinguish between the "real " and to put it in the words of Javed Jaffrey ,the "Na-real"..
How would I know..????
I think we just have to go through life, take everyone at face value and continue walking.

And try and live as close to our own truth as possible.
Or rather as close to the secrets we keep.
I know that judgement has to be kept for the last day, like the Bible says..
See I'm Catholic that way..HA HA HA
And frankly , who am I  to judge anyone , anyway ???

But the thing is if I were to meet you in a crowd and smiled at you and you smiled back at me, who is to predict the shelf life of this moment???
Is it fate..??
Or it the actions that you and me take..???

We were born wild..
And then humanity took over, or the lack of it...

But I have realised that you can't tame a heart..
You may adhere to how you have to behave in society..
But have you ever thought of what you would actually do if there was no society to answer to ..

I realise that I love people,but I'm not a crowd pleaser..
I don't have to be nice to someone I may not like..
And so more often than not..
I will just stay away...
There are very few that I may open my heart to...
And I  also know, than when you break your heart, only love can heal it ..

Sometimes in life, I do put on my mask on,and add my artificial sweetener and walk around...
But that does not really last too long..
It's actually just lasts for the duration of a song ..

And so today I just wanna tell you that all that is wild...
May not be as dangerous , as we have been convinced to think ..
It's more a pureness that we are not used to....
And that's why we do not know how to deal with it ..

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a wild animal ..????

The closest I ever came to ,was in Zimbabwe 12 years ago ..
And I was frightened by the sheer physicality of that beautiful lion ..
All it did ,was look at me ..
And me at him..
And those eyes were the most truthful I have ever seen ..
They were raw..
I never understood what they said ..
And in that rawness
There was a connect ..
No I did not want to meet him with no steel gauze to separate us ..
But he looked at peace in his dense forest and at me on the other side..

And so today I want to share with you a recipe that is very basic..
No frills..
No fancies..
What you have ,is what you cook with.

http://youtu.be/Zpe7mDNK9Z8

And while I cooked this...
I wondered ..
What is it about us humans that need a veil..
That need a safety net..
So you can see the other person , but can't really walk to their side..

In my next life ..
I'm going to just be a lioness..
I'm going to hunt when I'm hungry ..
Go to the watering hole when I'm thirsty
Love when I can meet my lion without all these borders and demarcation lines..
And just live ..
Wild and free..

We have a lot to learn in life .

Firstly I have seen that in someways we can be like animals
We all play around with our  prey ,before we destroy their souls..
Sometimes just for fun .and sometimes because we are stronger than them ..
Or then just damaged souls,ourselves.

I'm thinking that we were all born with a purpose in life ..
And no it was not to save the world or another person..
It's just to be the best person we could be .,
And if we were all going to just try and do that ..
This world that we live in , would be a better place ..
Be kind to one another..
That's the least we can start by doing ..
And so as I today make you "Junglee mutton"" ..
I just want to say ..
Keep things simple .
Keep relationships free ,from frills and fancies...
Be real ...
That's all we need to be ..
And like the animals in the wild, don't hunt if you are not hungry..
Don't pretend to love , if love is not what you seek ...


So as I sit here in my corner of the world...
I just want to say , you may be a vegetarian or a non-Vegetarian reading my blog..
And so if I can spill my self here ..
Just write back a line ..
If I touched a string in your heart in some tiny way ..

As for this recipe..
It's yummy..
And I'm not going to be bashful about it ..

Food is like love ..
Half cooked is really s big waste of time of ingredients and emotions ..
If you are going to cook .
Then do it well and with complete indulgence ..
With lotsa love from "Maria's Kitchen "

DAY 113 : BAKED VEGETABLES WITH PASTA.....

The thing is though we all belong to the human species...
We are all wired differently..
We girls grow up reading fairy tales, where Knights in shining armours and blazing swords save the day and ride us into the sunset.
Well it all sounds pretty idealistic..

But the problem is , the boys are not reading this fairy tale, they are busy solving murder mysteries and saving the world.
With Bond like gadgets, so tiny that they they could fit into the tiniest pocket of my tightest skinny jeans..

And so there arises the problem between us..
The battle of really crazy expectations, which in my opinion is the root cause of all problems..
Barring a few like , we find in algebra, which I hated solving..

As an economics student, it was grilled into me that in the future we are all dead.
I think that's when I began to realise..
It's now or never.

I'm not one to just jump into the deep end of the ocean, and expect to be saved..
But I did realise, that at some point of time, we all need to be saved, sometimes from our crazy self and sometimes from the decisions that we make that then complicate our lives.

In 2010 after having my Zeke and Zene, I got back to a bit of work.
I happily agreed, because it involved a long standing affair in my life..
FOOD..
I love food , and I have always been like that, always  perennially hungry.
You can offer me food ,after I have eaten a meal and I will have a bite.
I can eat before a meal, during my meal and after my meal..

Well somewhere down this gluttonous path I realised, that I actually began to fall in love with the whole cooking process.
And more than that, to just look at the faces of the people who are eating the food I  cooked gives me immense satisfaction.

I'm a lazy person..
I really do not like hard work..
If I had to go out and look for a job, I would be jobless, that's what I am right now ha ha ha..
But this recipe is really worth staying in the kitchen ,a little while longer for.

THE BAKED VEGETABLE RECIPE IS IN MY BOOK, "FROM MY KITCHEN TO YOURS"AND WILL BE ON THE SHELVES MID SEPTEMBER

Well if you ask me am I qualified in anything, the answer is no.
So while I was hosting this food show in 2010, all I wanted to do is to actually go back to school and learn how to cook.
I zeroed down on Tante Marie, it was in London, 8 hours away from home, my college best friend Lorraine lives there..
And of course the queen of England , who has yet to make friends with me, but probably on my next trip... Ha ha ha
My course started end September, the latest I could pay my fees were by the end of August, and for the life of me , I just did not.

I was too scared.
Not scared of the work, I loved the thought of going back to school.
Nor the travel, I was born for that..

Ok....I was just too frightened to sleep alone.
I had never ever slept alone.
Ok stop  looking at me like me like I'm some bed-hopping diva..ha ha ha ...

All my life and through my work, I had always shared my bed-room with my sister, or then jumped into my co-Vj Mini's room and never left..thank god we became really close friends, so that was a great arrangement, but otherwise, make-up crew, my female directors etc..
And now my kids..

So this damn sleeping alone in Woking..
Was messing with me big time.
Most of my friends, told me you will be back in a week , barring a few.

So finally the day came when I had to take off, it was a Saturday, on Monday I would be in class.
Warsi dropped me to the airport, and held me tight and said, " Baby if you feel like coming back in a week , just do, don't bother about anything"
He is really sweet that man...

But I looked at him, and in my bravest voice said, '1 will see you in 12 weeks"
Frankly I was petrified..
But I got onto that plane, full of crazy excitement.
Half of me was running through the streets of London was the other half was sitting frightened in her bed..
I finally reached London,took a taxi to Woking.
Lovely little place 40 minutes from Waterloo station as i later discovered..

I loved my land-lady on sight.
Eve was pixie like and full of beans, she reminded me of my friend Sandy.
Yup I lived in a home-stay..
A room in some one's house.
Because the thought of a hotel room , gosh not at all.
I settled in..

It soon was 10 PM..
I then went to her side of the house , said good-night and then popped the million dollar question...
No I did not ask her if I could sleep in her bed, but the thought did cross my mind...ha ha ha
I asked her to please open the connecting door.
She looked at me like I'm psycho.
But she did.

I walked to my comfy bed, pulled my duvet till my nose..
It was now time for me to go to sleep with all my favorite scary moments and monsters..
It's like I take them all with me every where I go..
I lay down, I said my guardian angel prayer..
And just waited..
Well there was no knight in shining armour to sit by me, or hold me tight.
I had to save myself from my very very lucid imagination.
And I did one day a time.

It was a very very uneasy night..
I woke up really early and went for a run, through this beautiful park behind my house..
when I got back , Eve was at the table, eating breakast..
She looked at me and said, 'You're an early bird'
Ha ha ha only on holidays I thought to myself, and then proceeded to tell her how amazing my run was through that park.
"What park", she said, "there is no park here, just a forest behind that has birds, and foxes and a few stray wolves..."

Ahhhhh ha ha ha ..
So I ran free, with the birds in their nests and foxes in their holes and wolves on the side..

On Monday when I got my chef whites and my knives.
I just came home, knighted my self with some Merlot ..
And that was that..

It was now or never, I was my own knight, my own self-help book, my own psychiatrist , my own light at the end of a 12 week long tunnel..
Yes I had wonderful friends who constantly kept intouch with me, and that made it all better..
But that time alone in Woking, made me brand shiny new and the girl I met on the other side of the tunnel at the end of those 12 weeks, well she was still all over the place, and lost, but was totally happy with it ..

I love all my flaws..
That's what makes me... ME..
And so I just want to say that sometimes what frightens you the most is actually what will set you free...

So as I bite into these perfectly baked vegetables, I'm actually thinking of you , and wondering will you try this, or will you just let this moment pass..
I would not

Its now or never..

Yup that's all..

With lotsa love and yumminess, only from 'Maria's Kitchen"

DAY 112 - WHOLE BAKED CHRISTMAS CHICKEN

So this recipe is a very very special one , it's the type of bake I have seen my mom do since I was just a little girl peeking over the table ..
My mum was like speedy Gonzalez in the kitchen ..
She would churn out the most amazing stuff in a jiffy...
And was always trying out new things.
Our home was a favorite haunt with my friends..
She always had a stock of muffins at home ..
And in the summer, her mango ice cream was most loved and wanted amongst my friends..

It's funny that we spend all our growing years arguing and opposing everything our parents said to us or made us do..
To find out later in life..
That we are actually them ..
Sometimes when I'm talking to my Zeke and Zene , I literally stop mid sentence..
Because I was about to say the same exact words my mum said ..
And if they were so wrong when we were young , then how come we become them,when we have kids...
It's so weird, that we become a version of our parents, who we may or may not agree with..
And so life goes on..

I read somewhere, that if you want your family traditions to continue, you should involve your daughter, because she is the one who will keep your family traditions alive and will pass it down..
The boys ..
Well there is a lot I can say about boys, I think we spoil them..
But the one thing I would like to say is that, most are more complicated than us girls, but are better at looking cool and unaffected..ha ha ha

So this recipe I'm sharing with you is not just a recipe..
It's part of my childhood memories and a growing up I did when I studied at Tante Marie.

THIS RECIPE IS IN MY BOOK, FROM MY KITCHEN TO YOURS" THAT WILL BE ON THE STANDS MID-SEPTEMBER.

Christmas is a very beautiful part of the year..
During Christmas time , you automatically take stock of your life..
And it just all happens so organically ..

I guess it's the end of the year assessment of your own life and relationships..
So how many are still as close to you ,as they were in the beginning of the year..
How many strangers do you now call friends....
And how many close friends are now strangers....
Well that's quite a lot of introspection, happening, if you are really delving into it and not speed skiing on the surface..

So during Christmas you write cards, or send SMS's , or what's app friends..
Some special ones you will call and face time..
And that's how it is today so connected by the world of technology, and yet I feel there is a coldness about , connecting via a machine.
I miss receiving hand written cards.
But I don't send them either, so frankly I should not expect any..

I remember, along with the sweets that we would be busy making, we would also be either making or then buying special cards, to write and send to family and friends.
And just before Christmas, a big ribbon was hung and all the cards we received would be hung from wall to wall.
My kids don't ever see that...
I don't make cards anymore...
I don't send or receiveany either, except from a lovely old uncle and Aunt..

I feel like a little part of my life has just disappeared ..
Like a missing soul ...
But I'm thinking, maybe next year , this is what I should do..
Gather all the paper and start from scratch, and hand write cards to my family and friends..

I don't go around giving sweets anymore either..
I still remember, after mid-night mass , and that was truly held at mid-night..
We would first run home, to find our toys under the tree but Santa, would always be missed by just a bell..
Damn damn damn...
And then we would all run to one another's houses and wish everyone..
Hug and kiss everyone actually..
Till I grew up , and then it was just a hand-shake and an awkward kiss on the cheek ha ha ha ..
I think that was the only night we were allowed to stay up late..
And then in the morning, my mum would get bustling in the kitchen..

She would have Vindaloo, and Duck Moile , a potato and Mayo salad, fugiyaas , a baked chicken and then dessert would be all the Christmas sweets and a trifle pudding..
We would then have an inch of red wine (Made by my daddy)..ha ha ha
It was actually literally poured an inch..
But it was such a thrill to say cheers ..
And then sip on it and have all the food on the table, after which , we were so full of eating and exhausted with the late night, and the early morning that we slept..

And thereafter the week would be, just going visiting family and friends and having people over..
And eating left overs..
I loved that..

I'm just realising that in the age of no technology, we made it a point to stay in touch with all who mattered..
Today in spite of all the tech-equipment, we don't..
Or then we think that by sending a smiley to someone..
You are keeping in touch..
Is this not a sad state of relationships..

I think I want to go back to my childhood , and continue life from how I lived it ..
But I can't..
So I have to start with right now..

I'm going to start with me and my kids..
They need to know how to stay in touch with people that matter for real..
Writing a letter to someone and posting it is not old fashioned, but really sweet..
Need to teach them simple stuff.
Like return a call, you may not think that person is important enough, but that person thought so , that's why they called you .
Reply to messages, it's really not so difficult..
I'm not saying that people who do are wonderful people..
But the ones who don't, just tell you , that you don't matter..
Need us all to understand that by saying 'Please, Thank-you and Sorry' and really meaning it ..
Can actually change our own life..
Writing a letter to Santa, even though we know he is not "a" single person, (but a hoard of loving souls , who keep him alive , for the next generation...)
Is the best gift you could give yourself..

I write to Santa, every year ..
Sometimes it's a happy letter..
And sometimes I realise that there is a part of me that wants stuff that I'm never going to get...
But "Hope" is beautiful..
It's what keeps us all alive and smiling..

And so this year too...
I have made my grown-up Christmas list..
Knowing fully well, that if you do want something from the bottom of your heart, the universe gives it to you eventually ..
Whether you are still interested or not..
ha ha ha

This year, I just want that each and every woman in my country can breathe safely..
That the kids are kept safe in mind , body, heart and soul..
And that when we SMS, email, what's app or call one another..
We really mean what we are writing or saying..
If not for yours sake, then for the person at the other end..
They may just believe you ..

So yup this Christmas..
I just want to say, this recipe is something that just does not have ingredients, but is filled with moments and collections of memories in my life..
It's years of different Christmases, writing cards, posting cards, opening envelopes, hanging cards on ribbons..
To calling friends and family..
To sending messages ,  SMS 's , whatsapping, FB greetings to Twitter messages..
I hate emails..so don't do that..
To making calls after more than the childhood quota , of an inch of red wine ha ha ha ..
It's all encompassing ..

So with lotsa love ..
Merry Christmas..

P.S. If you are going to make this baked chicken, at least try it out once before Christmas..
It's easy, but I never got it right the first time..
But then maybe , you will..
All the best and stay happy ..

And so was feeling a bit brave and decided to wish you in song..

But after hearing it, was thankful that I dont cook like I sing ...ha ha ha 

My kids thought I sounded like a chipmunk, and my cousin Penny felt it was more a chipmunk with a sore throat..

What ever it sounds like ..

The intention was to wish you Merry Christmas..

So ignore the voice and just go with the thought behind it ..PLEASE

 http://youtu.be/ixZx43JzTvk

DAY 111 - DOUGH BALLS

I love DECEMBER and all that comes with it ..
It's the month of Christmas and  my birthday month..Yeeeeeah...

I love birthdays..
Mine and everyone else's..

And every year on my birthday I just thank God for keeping me blessed and for giving me such amazing people in my life..

Right from my parents to my puppy Taz...
I'm happy for every single person who has walked into my life..

And stayed..

Or walked out, because I'm just too much to handle ha ha ha

I know that nothing in this life of ours happens by chance..
It's all, is a long drawn plan..
By God , who has just the naughtiest sense of humour and has such finesse with timing sometimes, that he can really test your patience..
Well he does mine..

So whether certain people or situations in life are fantastic or terrible..
Or whether it makes no difference at all..
Just remember that it all moves ions and neutrons from the deepest corners of your soul, even if you don't believe in jargon like this ..
And yes, you will never be the same ..

Am I the same girl I was a year ago ..
Yes mostly..
A little kg here and there..
One more wrinkle as I smile..
A strand of grey in my hair that I love..
But this is just the outside..
That may or may not be visible..

But my insides..
Are the same..
I don't know..

But I feel a peace inside my soul that I may have never felt before..
I am able to forgive ,eventually, because I know I'm not perfect either..
I try to forget,between buckets of tears and pillow cases..
I try and keep life as real as possible..
I try and keep my mouh shut, most times, unless I really have to just say what I want to say..
I never give up easily..
I'm still irritatingly impulsive..
I sit quietly sometimes..
I sing loudly in the shower..
I fight for the people I want in my life, until I feel they do not anymore want me in theirs..
I apologise..
I explode..
I dance..
I throw tantrums, if I know it will work..
I drink wine..
I sleep ..
I run..
I love..

I feel that in life...
If we can be a little accepting of what life throws at us..
It brings us , just a little closer to who we actually are..

You don't just find gold..
You have to dig deep for it ..
And then it has to go through fire to bring out it's purity..

I guess we are all like gold...
How we deal with life ..
When you are riding a high or a low..
Really shows us who we are..

Some are honest
Some are brave
Some are accepting
Some are fighters
Some are meek
Some are rigid
Some are malleable

Some just laugh through it 

Some become somber 
Some throw in the towel too soon...

What ever we do , there is no, one perfect way, to live life..
We have to just make the most of what each day throws at us , without losing our true essence..
The thing about our true essence, is that, its like 24 carat gold..
When you put gold through fire, it comes out Gold and shiny, it does not change into some other metal..
Unless it is some other metal, with a rinse of gold..

And so today ,I'm sharing with you a recipe, that I use to make a whole lot of things with..
It's a simple dough , but every time I make it , I do something different to it..
(Why? ...because its fun)
And that changes how it looks and feels, and with the right additions also how it tastes when you bite into it..

http://youtu.be/wU58kUUZbl0

We need to be like this simple dough, that is a accepting to change and also absorb new things in life..

So today that I'm a year older, I don't want to preach to you ..
Because I know very little about life myself..
I think I have just about tasted the tip of the iceberg of life..
And have a long way to go ..

But I know one thing..
No matter what you may go through good or bad..
Say thank you to the universe or if you believe in a God..
Then thank him...

Because I know that no matter what road you walk on or through,and no matter who you meet and talk to for a while or a life time..
At turns and detours most unexpectedly, you will feel a beautiful corner in your soul just opening up..

So if someone makes you smile..
Please go ahead and pass that smile forward to some one else..
If someone makes you cry..
There is something that the universe is trying to teach you ..
So learn that lesson ..
Don't harden your heart..
Hearts were meant for love..

It's just that ..
We all live in a crazy maze..
Sometimes there is so much electricity that you can light a whole city with it ..
And sometimes, the wires just fuse..
The point is sometimes, it can be repaired and sometimes, it has burnt itself out..
You always know YOUR reality deep inside you ..You have all the answers you are searching for..
So look inside not out..
(I'm feeling very intelligent right now, just wish I followed my own words all the time ha ha ha )

Whichever way your life travels..
Always remember..
This is how it IS supposed to be , whether you like it or not..
Share the happiness and swim through sadness to the other side..

So go with it..
And be like the dough that converts into crisp pizzas, bready calzone or then the softest dough balls..
Without losing its essence..
Which is not its taste
But its ability to go with the flow...

Like in the words of the Penguins of Madagascar, "Looks don't matter, it's what you do that counts"

So while I bite into the softest morsel of bread loaded with this cream cheese dip..
I'm thinking...

Please add 2 tbsp more of Nutella and 1 table spoon more of the  condensed milk..
Don't laugh I'm serious...
It will taste better..

No you are not going to put on weight with one extra bite..

So I just want to say thank-you, to each and everyone who sent me Birthday wishes yesterday..
A big Thaaaank you , with much love from me to you, only from "Maria's Kitchen "..

So does getting a year older make me any wiser..
Ha ha ha I don't think so..
But yes it does tell me, time maybe running out ..
So grab your moments of joy....
And stay happy ...

DAY 109 - CHOCOLATE PIZZA

And so everytime I look at my kids I just thank God for them, thank him for giving me a new lease of life.
For giving me a chance to relive my childhood again ofcourse with a lot more responsibilities..
I love kids..
Though not all though..
I'm not mother Theresa after all.

But what I love most about them , is that they will always tell you like it is, until you teach them otherwise.
If you want to know the truth about anything ask a child.
Only if you really want the truth.

And how many of us really are ready to hear the truth about ourselves.
Well I'm putting up my hand first...
Of course we all want to be liked ,  loved and appreciated.
But do we do the same.
Are we able to put our biases and judgemental beings aside and appreciate someone for exactly who she is..
No it's really difficult...

And so I think ...
(And I think a lot sometimes) ha ha ha
That if we can tap into our inner child , and ask her how she is feeling , she will tell you the truth..
She will tell you that , you may probably be doing it all right , but are actually all wrong.

Children to me are our greatest teachers.
They eat when they are hungry, sleep when they are tired , protest when their toys are being taken over , and throw huge tantrums when they want their way and can't have it ..
Not very different from us adults !
But we as adults have learnt how to mask what we feel, say what we don't mean , and our actions mostly do not match our words!
And we call that "Social etiquette " ..
How messed up are we ..ha ha ha

So if we can try and keep it simple, I think our lives would be less complicated.
Please do say no , when you don't want to be part of something!
Say yes , when you want to .
And don't let your ego get in the way of  love.
Give the tightest hugs..
Say I love you , when you mean it..
Say I miss if , because you really do !
Smile a lot, it could make someone's day .
And sing in the bathroom ,if you do not have a voice like "Pink"..

But live ..
As fully and joyously as you did when you were little..
When the most you had to worry about, is whether , Santa is going to get you what you wrote to him about..

There seems to be a huge lacuna between what we want to do in life and what we do!
And that mostly because , no life does not follow our plans..
But plans are constantly running around in mixed up circles , by the life we lead.

Can we step back just for a little while..
Like today ...
And look at the moon, while you are travelling back home, and believe he is following you , because you are special, just like you used to , when you were little..
And believed in all things good and magical..
There is no magic , unless you believe...

And so today I would like to share with you a recipe , that I conjured up in my kitchen..
Pizza dough , chocolate and marshmallows..
Nothing fancy or gourmet about it ..

http://youtu.be/tzgK93ahi78

But the combination "Magical"..
Try it..
And write back to me only after you watch the moon following you home..
Speak to that little child who lives deep inside you ..
Ask her how she is doing..
Look after her..
Tell her that it will all be fine..
Tell her that she needs to always walk ahead with a smile and the world will smile back ..
Tell her that it's ok to love someone to bits..
And that her heart will also smash to smithereens..
But it's only like what Rumi said..
It's from here that the light enters through..
Tell her it's ok to laugh like a cackling witch and it's also ok to cry buckets..
It's ok to believe that not everyone is as bad or as good as the next ..
And it's ok to just walk alone..
To sit under a tree, and fall asleep without an intelligent book in her hand..
It's all right to not know all the right answers..

But it's not ok to
Not dream
To stop loving
To stop trusting
To give up ...

We have just this one life ..
And so many choices..

So let's live like little kids..
Open Pandora's box..
Make mistakes..
Fall..
Get bruised and run again...

Ok I need to stop ..
I need to just bite into the gooey, melting slice of goodness in my hand..
And share this with all of you ..

This is for you, for me , for us , for all the kids , and to the child in each and everyone of us..that sometimes just needs to chase butterflies..
With tons of hugs from "Maria's Kitchen "

DAY 108 - LACCHA PARATHA...

I

I feel in life it's very easy for us to ignore the ordinary and run after all , what we deem special, that's just human nature.
But it is only through the most simple things in life that greatness is achieved.

Like we all started with crawling, before we could walk and run..
We needed to learn the alphabet , before we could write or read..

And the one thing I have learned is that we need to learn how to forgive before we can love..

Love is quite a leveller in life.
One minute you are soaring through the clouds and the other you may just be unable to get up from your bed ..
What we need to be like..
Is like , "whole wheat flour"..
Yeah , common , to say the least , so easy to find in any shop and so easy to use ..
But can change form and shape and be a friend to almost any kind of food..
This does not mean it has no depth, it just means it is well adjusted, and sure of who it is..

It's amazing how much you learn about life from food..
I learnt that , you should not starve, eat everything you like in the right proportion , and indulge yourself when you feel like..

And do not ignore the little stuff..
Drink enough of water everyday.
Eat at least 2 fruits, 2 raw vegetable and eat your Roti and rice..
No the gluten from your roti and the sugar from your rice won't kill you ..

And yes, our parents and grand-parents, never used the word "Diet" ...
They ate everything and worked hard, and that's why , we need to heed their words of wisdom.

Today I'm going to share something with you , that's so basic that every one should learn to make it, so incase you are in a situation , where you need to fend for yourself, you can at least make yourself some wholesome, hot "Roti"

http://youtu.be/uaeKPL3HNjY

I never knew how to make rotis , till a few years ago, and everytime my mom said we need to learn , we laughed at her, my sister and me.

But, Boss, at the end of the day, do you want to rely on help for something so basic..
I think you should all go try this, it simple fun and a good activity to do with friends and family..
Nothing bonds people like cooking together..
And for those who pray, well praying together..

Something so basic ..
That completely satiates you ..
Can I make a perfectly round roti...
NO, NOT AT ALL...
But that's not the end of the world..
Can you make , "Pansette de Gerzat"????

Ha ha ha I'm sure you are wondering what that is ...
Well just want to tell you, whatever it is neither can I , I just googled it , ha ha ha

But we can all try and live life , with our basics in place ..
Pray ( or don't) , love ( or don't) , eat ( or starve)
Frankly to each her own..

So as I take a bite of this beautiful crunchy "Laccha paratha," loaded with ghee also known as clarified butter..
I'm filled with a warmth and happiness about the fact that only simple things actually do permeate your soul..
With much love from "Maria's Kitchen"...