DAY 103: NOT FISH..BUT FISHY..

So I woke up really late this morning,  really late...
Because the kids and me were watching Harry Potter till really late in the night...
We love Harry Potter..
Well who doesn't..
And while I was wondering what I should eat for breakfast ..
I decided that today I need to go to the fish market ..
So I wore my fish market shoes and put on my bargaining face ..
And with a few plastics in tow , took off for the Versova fish market .
I love that place
And no the smell of the fish does not bother me at all.
The buzz of that place is actually fun..
Many familiar fish-folk and a lot of fish I still have not met.. ..
I wanted Tuna, because I wanted to make a salt baked fish with lemon butter, it's one of the recipes that I have in my book , and I really love it..
But I could not find any, the size I wanted..
So I walked around,  browsing , and in my head I was also trying to figure ingredients I would need , for something else if I did not get what I want..
So yes I completely confused myself , because I had various spices running through my head and various fish ..
And in the middle of all that ..
I spotted lobsters , so that's what I bought  , because my favorite fisher lady was selling it...
And then bought prawns because I think I will make a prawn pickle and also bought Pomfret, because felt I should...
Why do I always go over board with buying fish ..
Gosh ..
But I guess I don't understand when to stop ..
Or then I just like a lot of everything ...
Maybe I'm greedy ..
Or maybe I just am a "much too much " kinda person ..

You know , I'm sure there are there are more people like me ..
Who go a little over with everything in life ..
I guess sometimes, Ok , most times, I do fall in that category ..

You are allowed to love who you want, as much as you want, as long as you 'Love"...

It's like I feel it's OK to love the crap out of the people you love, how can you do things in half measure..
I dont understand that ..
Anyway, we leave that for another blog...

We now attend to the Lobsters..

INGREDIENTS

Lobsters -1 doz
Butter -1 tbsp
Olive oil - 1 tbsp
Bechamel sauce - 4 tbsp
Fish stock -1/2 cup
White wine -1/2 cup
Flat leaf parsley - 4 tbsp finely chopped
Garlic - 8 pearls
Onion -1 finely chopped
Cheese -1 slice
Dry Oregano -2 tsp
French Mustard - 1 tsp
Lime -1/2 squeezed
Egg yolk -2
Cream -1/4 cup

Method

Clean the lobster and separate the tails from the head..
Cut the tiny fins on the under side of the tail , and then cut through the centre of the shell from the underneath , and pull out the lobster flesh delicately.
Wash , de-vein , chop into tiny bite size pieces and keep to one side ..
Wash the shells.
Leave them to dry.

Then in a non-stick pan , on a medium flame add the butter and the olive oil.
Then add the garlic and sauté for 30-40 seconds, add the onions and cook it till it gets translucent, about 3 minutes, then add the wine and the fish stock .
And let it simmer on a low flame , till it has become half.
Then add the bechamel sauce, oregano , parsley the and the cheese( I did not have cheddar cheese at home , so I just used a slice)
Let this all nicely mix together and let the cheese melt, you should have a nice thick slightly bubbling mix, please do this on a low flame.

In another bowl, mix the yolk, cream, mustard and the lime.
Then pour the hot flavoured bechamel mix over the yolk mix, continuously stirring.

Place the cleaned shells on a baking tray.
Then place the raw flesh of the lobster into the cleaned shells.
Spoon the flavoured sauce over the raw flesh and sprinkle it with bread crumbs.
And place it in the top rack of a pre heated oven at 200 degrees, bake it for 15-18 minutes.

Serve hot with a yummy tomato flavoured wheat pasta ..
Why wheat, because it's healthier, than maida..

Whole wheat pasta in a tomato and basil sauce.

So when I went to the market today , and saw so many fish .
The line , "so many fish in the sea" just came to mind, and I was thinking , sometimes in life , we run after something , or pursue something with blinders on , or have such a narrow vision , that we do not even see, all the options available...
And sometimes, because we have such a narrow vision in life ..
We may miss out on the stuff that actually may be right for us ..
But as normal human tendency we always pursue stuff that we can't get or have..
Maybe we are not supposed to live life in pursuit ..
Maybe what is good for us , will come to us organically ..
Maybe all the trouble and strife in life is completely brought on by our own unreasonable greed in life .

Like frankly in this world of 7 billion people (sorry if the count is wrong, i have yet to travel the world), how come in our entire life time we meet only 10000 to 200000 people in our life time, depending on where we live , the kind of job we have and the kind of life style we lead.
And among , all those people , we meet, we may make maybe 10000 friends over time , but the maximum amount of really close relationships would boil down to 3 or 4.
Which leaves the rest of the population to be close friends with one another.
So yes most of us broadly are loners or little islands , that live completely alone inside us , with a few chosen few that we open up to .
And how do those chosen few who come our way, completely by chance?
Beats me ..

I have realised that geographical distance, wealth, social status or colour of our skin has got nothing to do with human relationships.
They really make no difference.
That is why I guess we have soul mates.
It's such a weird concept, but I do believe in it.
I'm not saying that all of us find our soul mate , and our lives are like a fairy tale from then on.
But I do think , many times , we mistake someone for a soul mate , and hence close all doors to everyone else...
But I feel if you do meet a soul mate, both the lives of both the souls will be dramatically enriched in every sphere , and will give you freedom and you will never have to choose ..

But if you are always in a state of confusion with your supposed soul mate , then this is not the one ..
Its very much like when you are looking to buy fish, if it smells of fish, do not buy it ...
The same applies to life, if it does not feel light and smells of heart-break , it is not right..

I think the reason we make friends and are close to a few people , is because something in this universe does bind these particular souls together..
So I feel that soul mates are probably souls that you meet in your life that bring out the best in you, or then pass through your life , because they make you discover something in your self , you never knew existed..
And yes I do believe we all come across our soul mate ,once in our life at least ..
And when you both do , it will be a very deep , beautiful and powerful soul stirring part of your life , that will frighten you to your deepest core and also give you unimaginable happiness.
Where there is potential for a deep love, there there is also potential for the deepest pain ..
This is something that we all need to acknowledge ..

Well if you are one of the lucky few , who is able to spend a life time with your soul mate , then I guess, this life time is where it was supposed to happen ..
And if not , then let me say , that , it will happen when it is supposed to ..
So do not fret..
Maybe there are many more people we need to meet, and many things we still have to learn , before , we have what we are looking for ..
Like in the words of the Dalai Lama , " Remember that not getting what you want , is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck"

And that's exactly what I was thinking as I pulled out the lovely lobster from my oven..
I wanted to buy Tuna, actually , and that's what I went to the market for..
But since , I was not able to find what I was looking for, since , I'm a bit picky about the freshness and the price..
I found these beautiful chubby tailed lobsters , looking at me beckoningly..(if that is a word)
Frankly when I bought them , I had no idea , what I was going to make ..
And did not want to make a curry again..
But felt something or the other will fall into place..
And so went for a lobster Thermidor kinda recipe...

But yes, today with the full family home ,and kiddie friends ,it was a very bad idea to be making a recipe that had to be done in parts and put together..
Because I was being constantly asked if lunch is ready ..
And frankly no one should be baggering the chef with a knife in her hand ha ha ha ..
But all's well that ends well..

The Thermidor turned out beautifully, In fact I should have had more lobster,because it got swiped really fast, because I was told , it was really yummy..
Or they were just very very hungry..
One of the two, I'm hoping it was the former..
(Just remember to taste the mustard, before you add it, because some mustard has salt in it, and some is a bit bitter , so use your mustard discreetly.)
I was told that this is like food in a restaurant , that you pay for ha ha ha ..
I love kids..
And so there will be another round of this dish happening soon..

So here's presenting, "Not Fish..but Fishy.." served with freshly made tomato and basil pasta, made with a lot of hard work, and a lot of conversation with myself, about plenty of fish in the sea and soul mates, served with lotsa love , only from "Maria's Kitchen" ..

DAY 102 : EVERYBODY'S FREE TO EAT DOUGH-BALLS...

Oh yes most of the time, I end up doing exactly what my heart pleases.
And 4.5% of the time! I let my brains take over! and sometimes, just sometimes!
I act with caution.
But most of the times, caution is thrown to the wind, and I just run the risk of completely going turntables all over the country side.
But that is also fun , because then you get a look at life , from all different angles.

Thanks for this photo Amito and Eefa for teaching me how to do a headstand...

I was not like this in my growing years.
I mostly did what I thought would be the right thing to do, because I never wanted to go wrong, or upset my parents.
I still do not want to upset them ..

But as I grew up , I realised that I was a rebel..
And I softly turned my life upside down , and once it was all out of the box , and I had stretched myself from the shell that I was in.
I suddenly wondered , why I  sat in a shell for so long.
I realised , it was because I was not really willing to accept myself, the way I was , but had accepted myself in the perception of others.

The best part I think about finding yourself along the way.
Is that you start seeing everything in a brand new perspective.
I realised that there was not just a black and white, but a beautiful grey..

Oh yes we should all have an opinion, but we need not be judgemental.
We need to know what we want to do, but know that if someone else does the opposite, he need not be wrong.
And I have realised, that the way someone treats me , is more often because how the person is feeling at that point of time in their life, and I happened to cross them at that point.

Do I fret, yes I do..
I fret deeply , if I get hurt.
Or if I have lost a friend, or if I feel, something is amiss.

But I have learned that "what is...IS"
And "what will be, will be"
Sometimes when everything is not alright.
Everything is awry.
Sometimes you fall apart, sometimes you fall together, but fall we must, because there must be something down , that we are supposed to find.
Most of the time, I have realised , I have mostly found a piece I never knew was missing..
It's quite lovely in retrospect actually..

So now that I have digressed from the cooking that I have done..
I think it's time I get back to the "piece de resistance"..
These lovely dough balls..
The first time I tasted them was on a cold London evening with my friend Sanjay, who insisted that if I tasted one, I would not be able to stop..

Sanjay..

Well he was right, it was nicest piece of bread I had eaten..
And with one of the sweetest persons i know...
It's just the right size, and so you never can stop eating it easily.


DOUGH BALLS

INGREDIENTS
Fresh yeast - 20 gm
Flour- 200 gm
Sugar-1/2 tsp
Luke warm water - 120 ml
Oil - 3 tbsp
Pinch of salt

METHOD

In a big glass bowl, blend the yeast, with sugar and a tbsp of the water.
And leave it , till it bubbles and gets a bit frothy.
Then add the rest of the water and blend it properly

On a clean table top , or another bowl, sieve the flour , add the salt .
And make a well in the center , add the oil, add the water and slowly mix it to form a dough.
Knead it really well about 6-10 minutes, till the dough is nice and soft and springy.
Bring it all together in a shape of a ball, cover it with a damp muslin, and leave it to prove.
Till it is double in size.

Then add some flour on your work table , and knock the door , and flatten it.
Then roll it into a cylinder and make small even sized balls, I got about 18 pieces.
Leave it to prove about 30 minutes, till it has doubled in size and then brush it with some milk, and bake it in a pre-heated oven , at 180 degrees  for 10 minutes , or till it is a lovely brown .
Then just serve it with some hot, with some homemade garlic butter, or then Nutella straight of the jar ..


That's what the kids and me did ..
We are kinda addicted to Nutella ..

While making them dough balls today I thought of my friend Nikhil .Chinnappa..
I met him at the MTV VJ Hunt.

He was just the most lovely guy ...
He was smart , courteous, good -lookin, confident, quirky, had his head on his muscular shoulders and had a beautiful warm heart, and that bit is what made me want him as my friend .
And that's what we became over that one week at the Vj hunt many many moons ago .
He was just awesome at work and a wonderful person even when the cameras stopped rolling .

And we are still friends, but do not meet that often..bloody hell..
But some people always stay part of your life, whether you meet often or not and he is one of them.
He is the guy who taught me how to host a live event, when I was with MTV..
How to handle huge crowds..
He is by far one of the most amazing guys I have met, he also introduced me to "Everybody's free to wear sunscreen" the song by Baz Luhrman..
"Paris Brest " at Sunny's in Bangalore.
Gun-powder from off M.G Rd in Bangalore.
Allepey fish curry and appam in Chennai..
And filter coffee..
And was an amazing co-host ,friend and knight in shining armour all rolled into one.
He always knew what he wanted , and was also clear how he is going to realise his dreams.
Something that I'm still learning.
He always pushed me to do better, and was a complimentary host to work with.
He has a tattoo of a wizard on his arm, so I remember, looking at it and saying,"Merlin?" and he said, "Gandalf" ..
I did not want to say  "who?"..so I said , " well he looks like Merlin" ha ha ha ..
He spoke a language I sometimes did not understand..
Was filled with music I never heard, trance, progressive house and the likes..
Were concepts I learned from him..
And I have seen him work a crowd like no other...

He is truly "FANTASTIC"...(Which is also his favorite word, at least it was then...)


Well I do not see him often enough, nor his lovely prettier half Pearl..
There's is a beautiful love story..
And some days , I miss the madness , that we all lived together in..
We have all come such a long way ..
I have kids, he travels the world with his music ( I'm so jealous, about that)
My kids know his name, because he is "Famous"

Why am I telling you about Nikhil..???

And Warsi cooked for us a meal on the trek...

During a trek we did for a show called "Chill-Out"..Cyrus, Me & Nikhil..

Bath after 4 days on the trek..

I don't really know..
But I am ..
Because I guess, every time he walks through my mind, it explodes with memories of happy times, and I always break into a smile ..
He is one of the smile bringers in my life..

Mini & Nikhil ....smile bringers....

So in life I hope I'm a smile bringer.
It's not that we need to live life in a way that we need to make an impression.
But if we can live in a space that does not hurt someone ..
It's a good way to live..

Sometimes we touch peoples lives unknowingly..
When we do , what we bring to them , does impact their life in tiny or big ways.

So I try and keep this thought inside me.
Maybe I'm not always successful with doing the right thing.
But more often than not.
I do not say stuff I do not mean.
I realise that's the easiest thing to do .
But at the end of the day how you treat someone is far more important than what you say to them.

A lot of people say a lot of things to me.
That I may or may not take seriously.
But what if I do believe everything you say to me or insinuate..
And if your actions did not match your words ..
Then how would I feel ?

So how you  treat me, how you make me feel , how my insides truly feel , even if my smile does not betray me..is what actually matters..

So today while I served the kids hot dough-balls, from the oven , with home-made garlic butter and a jar of Nutella..
And the kids were chatting about, what they are going to do in the holidays..
I was looking at these soft delicate dough balls, and thinking this is exactly how our hearts are , soft and like putty..
And most of the time, when we open ourselves to the people we love, we let them handle our heart..
So remember this while you handle someone else's ...

And so I bite into a warm bite of this little piece of bread, dipped in delicious garlic butter, made with Amul and a few dunked into a jar of Nutella.

I am thinking ..
Life could not be better...
Soft dough-balls on the table, with butter and Nutella ..
And laughter all around..
Some things and people are meant to be part of your life ..

So keep on walking, but stop to smell what's in the oven..
Because if you do not reach in time, it may burn..
And keep the ones you love in your life , close to you, if you can ..
And tell them you love them and more importantly show them..

People will walk in and out..
That's their prerogative ...
They may walk in and out sometimes because of their own fears and sometimes, because of you ..
So try and be the reason people walk into your life for..
and not otherwise..

Was not able to shoot the baked dough balls, as they got devoured, before I had a chance to take a photo..

So here's presenting, "Everybody's free to eat Dough-Balls"..
Fresh , simple and just the perfect size to fall in love with..
Just like me ha ha ha ...

DAY 101 : CONFUSINGLY ADDICTIVE...

And so this new year has bull dozed itself,and its already the end of January.
With all expected stuff..
And the usual...
And some surprises..
And then, there were resolutions that were not made...

In all the vastness of this beautiful month of January...
There were journeys that I planned..
And places that I visited..
And various dishes I cooked..
And pages of words that I wrote..
And conversations that I had..
All this in my head ....

I have let this beautiful month of January draw me into it's arms and have allowed it to unfold it's plans to me, day by day ..
While I sat and snuggled in it's cosy warmth...
With the nip of a winter in my Bay ...

And yes, every morning ,I do yoga that I love ..
That's as much as I'm doing ..
Oh and the occasional run ..
Sometimes I feel if Bradley Cooper had to run on the same path what fun it would be ha ha ha ..
But the reality is ,he does not know I exist ..
If he did, he would be wishing, he ran the path I run ..HA HA HA

One thing I know, is that no matter what, we need to see the humour in things..
They may not be funny at that very moment in time..
But in hind sight if it makes you smile ...it's all good..
God has a wicked sense of humour..
So sometimes we need to just take life with a pinch of salt..

I think I grew up a bit ..
I mean I'm still 5.2'' ha ha ..
But I think I may have a little better understanding of life, I'm not sure, I'm just thinking aloud ...
But growing up does not really mean that , ' I have all the answers" ..
It just means , I have had more life experiences..
And everything taught me something..

This new year, my resolution is to not have a resolution..
I'm going to go with the flow..
To be the person I am ..
And try and not get too involved in everyone else's drama..

Yes be there whole heartedly for the ones who would need me, or want me , but to also be there for the ones who say much in silence..

So as this month of January is getting over..
And this beautiful cold wave is bidding us adieu..
I'm thinking damn, this is 2014...
It's just 10 months more for my birthday ha ha ha ..

I have a lot to do this year..
For starters, I have some exciting news to give you , the reason I was not able to write my blog last year,  was because I was writing a Cook-book.
And realised that contradictory to what I believe, " I'm not super-girl"...
DAMN! What a crushing, but true story that is..

So no I could not cook, write recipes for the book...
Look after kids, home, work-out, meet friends, look after sick Taz, run, do yoga, eat right, devour chocolates, search for songs to fall in love with, pander to the whims of my fancies, be upset with life sometimes, wipe my tears and walk on, be mad as hell but still smile, travel and ......
Write my blog...SO I DID NOT..
So yes I wrote a lot , but was not able to cook and write for my blog..
And so I let it be .

My blog is going to be 4 years old in May this year.
So yes she is a baby and is having her own little problems, because she has a temperamental mum who has a mercurial disposition..
But hopefully, this year, I will be able to finish the book I started , and you will be able to get your hands on it soon..
If you would like to..

It's a labour of love ..
And that's all I can tell you right now..
Yeaaaaah , I'm so excited actually, waiting to finish writing it , and send it for its first edit..
I guess it will all happen in good time.
So that's that..

You know I realised with this book, that writing is a lot like love , you cannot force it, it's either there or not..
I guess because I'm neither writer nor Chef..
I operate like this..
I cook when I feel like it , and write only when I really have words jumping outa my heart..
And sometimes, there is nothing ..
Not a word..
I have nothing to say..
There were days , when I sat with my iPad and nothing came ..
0- Zilch - not a freakin word..
I thought , "Oh my God, my publisher is going to be wondering , what on earth he has got himself into"
But OM Books has been fantastic and patient and lots fun to be with.

So when the words ceased to flow,  I let me be ..
I'm not super-girl..
And that's that..

And so I decided that if there was one vegetable I need to be like , I need to be like a beet-root ..
That is always yummy..
Whether it is raw, boiled, baked...it's always good ..
And so today , I'm going to share with you a simple recipe that is absolutely lovely ..
And really easy...
But deliciously complicated..
Ha ha ha like me ..

INGREDIENTS

Beetroot - 1 big bulb , boiled.
Watercress- I handful
Red bell pepper - half sliced
Juice of 1 orange.
Olive oil- a nice glug
Balsamic vinegar - 1 tsp
Mixed seeds - 1 tbsp

METHOD.

So if you need to know how to boil a beetroot.
Wash the beetroot really well.
Put the beetroot in a sauce pan.
Cover it with water, add a dash of vinegar, so it stops it from bleeding.
And cook it for 30-45 minutes , depending on its size till it is soft.

Then after it is cooked , dunk it in ice cold water .
After it is cooled.
Peel it .

And yes then I do a "Maria " to it ..
Which means , I complicate it ha ha ha ha ...

So take a small non-stick baking tray, dice the beetroots into nice voluptuous pieces, and place it inside the tray.
Add a happy glug of olive oil to it
And toss the beetroot around , so it's nicely coated, then add the orange juice to it, not too much but about quarter inch deep ,and in a pre-heated oven at 190 degrees, just bake it for 40 minutes.
After 20 minutes, open the oven, toss it around and let it continue to bake..
Take it out , pick out the pieces, and place it in your serving dish.
Add the remaining orange juice , balsamic vinegar and stir it around the baking dish, so it picks up all the caramelised bits, add the red pepper to this and give it a good stir.
Add all this to the beetroots in the serving dish.
Add the watercress, and the mixed seeds , give it all a god stir and serve immediately.


So I'm thinking .
A beet-root is the way to be..
It always tastes lovely anyway ...
And does not really lose it's essence ...
It still rosy and beautifully coloured and only gets sweeter if it get's into a heated situation...

And so when you do bite into this salad , you will have the sweetness of the beet, infused with the orange , and the balsamic, the juiciness of the raw peppers , and the crunchiness of the  seeds along with the slight bitterness of the water-cress...
It's absolutely confusing and yet , it's yummy..
By the time you try and figure the taste, you definitely want another biteful.

Confusingly Addictive

" Confusingly Addictive" is what I think this salad can be called, fresh and refreshing , my first foray into the new year, with much love , only from "Maria's Kitchen"..

DAY 100 : DELICIOUSLY COMPLICATED

And so today after a very very very long , I felt like a big fat gooey grin...
Does it have something to do with some one or something..
Well always.. ha ha ha ..
I blame it on this season ..
It's December, it just does something to me..
It fills my heart up with stars, that burst out of me
And so I'm perennially walking under a star burst..
Is that not beautiful..
So the tree has been put up..
There are little reindeer's sitting in corners of my home..
My kids keep writing letters to Santa everyday.
Buble is weaving his Christmas magic around my heart..
I'm trying to make a Christmas menu, that I can cook in a short span of time..
I'm writing a mental letter to Santa ..
But leaving it up to him, he never gives me what I want.
So I have just told him to surprise me this year..
I love surprises..
Hmm.. so ya ..
Peace, joy and all the festive Christmas spirit has taken abode inside me..
And I'm happppppeeeeeee....

You know it feels nice..
To just wake up ..
And feel good..
To look around at your sleeping kids , and wake them out of their slumber, to go to school..
Frankly I feel, what fun if school was optional..
But then , I think all the mothers would go completely crazy, if all they did was look after kids..
I'm sure school was started with the noble intention of imparting knowledge and also as , rest time for mums..

So today started like any other day.
But by noon, I was suddenly having my friends over...
And so busied myself in the kitchen.
I have this new Phillips Air-Fryer, thanks to Mz.Mini..
Who is the gadget queen of kitchen equipment..
So I'm using it like crazy..
And so decided to make a pizza with ribs on the side and garlic infused potatoes ..
And so was happily, cutting, chopping, marinating..

Well if you can please do check this air-fryer out, I frankly have fallen for it..
I would like to marry it, it's easy , not complicated, and low calorie..ha ha ha
But Mins said, she is already married to it, so I will have to be the mistress..
And frankly, I'm OK with that,because it just maybe more fun ha ha ha..

So out of the blue,  Mini and Jaya came home..
And we sat and discussed help leaving, kids, kitchen equipment ( which drives Jaya up the wall) men , other women,other women's men , shoes, clothes that are not zipping up ,so on and so forth..
While my pizza , got baked in the oven and my ribs were getting nicely browned..
And then, we sat and ate heartily and happily among much banter..

There has been something that I have been wanting to try for some time now, but have never really got down to it..
When I do want to try something, I normally do get down to it sooner or later..
Today it all just fell into place..
Like magic
I had the ingredients and the most beautiful company..
I cook better when I am feeding people I love..
So while we sat in the sun and were getting baked, Mins said that it was to get our required dose of D3 ( ha ha ha Mini, she is our official non certified Doctor)..
So while we drank chilled coke with ice..
This was conjuring up in my head...
Sometimes I feel like a witch , trying to cast spells on people , with the help of food..
Ha ha ha ..
If I eat too much of food, I may not be able to fly on my broomstick ha ha ha ..

But here are the ..

INGREDIENTS

Flaky pastry- 250 gm
Ganache - 250 gm
Marshmallows - 15 pieces
Vanilla ice -  cream
Strawberries - 10 , hulled and diced.

METHOD
Preheat the oven to 190 degrees.
Roll out the flaky pastry, to about 1/4 inch thickness.
Smear it the chocolate ganache.
Randomly place the marshmallows on it.
Bake it in the oven for 10 minutes.

This is something you must serve hot.
The marshmallows look really cute and puffy.
The chocolate is melting and oozing out.
Very quickly, put dollops of ice-cream over it, and throw the strawberries.
Run the pizza cutter over and into it , and serve immediately..
 
What I realised about all the ingredients , that I had thrown together, was that they were all fantastic on their own..
Flaky pastry is yummy even if you just bake it with nothing in it , same with the chocolate, strawberries , marshmallows and ice-cream..
But put together they are a perfect blend of a opposites and variations..
Too hot..too cold..
All in one..

And I feel, all of us are like this , we are perfect and complete just the way we are..
We don't make anyone's life complete , and nobody makes ours..

But yes if we have a good blend of people in our life, it makes it so much more fun..

I think all girls will agree , that they are very much like this dessert...
Crisp when they want to be..
Flaky when they need to be..
Buttery when they want , what they want..
Chocolatey because they are addictive..
Gooey when you are able to melt their defences..
Cold  if you rub them the wrong way or hurt them..
And so hot, that you know, this could be real trouble..
And so juicy and pretty, like a strawberry , that you just cannot help but want it...
Ha ha ha ..

But please be pre warned ..
Girls will be girls ..
And this combination is pretty lethal and very very deliciously ..
But then, that is a speciality..

DELICIOUSLY COMPLICATED

Ha ha ha
So while I bite into this yummy addictive hot-cold gooeyness...
I just want to say , if you find a Girl that is deliciously complicated, go with her..
She may just be exactly what warms your insides with her naughty smile on a winters night , or a crazy grey rainy day. or lights up the blue skies in summer and fires the perfect shade of orange in autumn....

So here's presenting "Deliciously Complicated"...with a whole lot of muchness...only from "Maria's Kitchen"

DAY 98 - CRY ME A RIVER...MUTTON..

And yesterday I gave away my piano .
No I do not know how to play a musical instrument.
But I could play devils march by heart.
And I was pretty good at it
Then happy birthday and do re mi ..

As a kid I could not really afford a piano or the piano lessons.
So I sang, I still do..
I love music and thankfully the sound of my own voice when no one is
listening to me .
I sang alto because it was easier.
And I deflected I to soprano whenever I liked a particular song .
But all the years of screaming like a hooligan has taken it's toll on my voice ,and my debut album ha ha ha
And so today I sing only to my kids and to myself.
Zeke normally tells me to keep quite but Zene and me do duets ..

And so in 2002 after searching for a piano for about a year.
A friend I know was moving house , and she did not have space and so was selling her piano.
I jumped at it.
I thought I would learn to play.
But I never found the time to.
I was busy travelling the world with music and Cricket.
But I looked after my piano.
It was always cleaned and tuned, and I would tinker with it when I wanted to ..
There is nothing like the sound of a piano in a home ..

I bought it because I felt that if not me my kids would get a chance to play on a real true blue old piece of art.
Well it's been 3 years since I have been trying to get Zeke interested.

Zeke who thinks he knows it all..boys..

Zene giving it a shot..

And Zene is just about starting.

I have been going through a let go or give away stage in life..
So I am  letting  go of people (with great difficulty ) that do not want to stay
And I'm giving away stuff that someone can make better use of.







But today when I saw my piano being carried away by 6 men .

I just broke down ,there was a sharp pain deep in my heart.
With it went a little bit of hope that I maybe would find time to learn a musical instrument.
Hope is a very beautiful thing ..
It keeps you alive..
But hoping for something to happen without working at it
Is futile ..

I have always wanted a piano right from the time I was tiny and singing at a talent contest
I still remember my first song
'But you love me daddy'
I also remember my grandma teaching me this song and me not reaching in time because she got the timing mixed up (I'm like her .. Oh my god )
So me in my pretty dress and stockings and shoes, did not get a chance to sing ..

I have always been healthily jealous of people who can play a musical instrument.
I think they are truly blessed.
I don't have it ( like I'm bad with languages)
I don't  have the patience..
Maybe Zeke is like me.
He actually wants to learn the drums ..
Yup he does..
But I cannot handle drums at the moment
Maybe I will let him when I'm old and deaf ..
Anyway the point of my rant is that I let go of my piano , that I loved and have always wanted...

And so today I decided to make Mutton do pyaaza ..
Which as the name suggests is double the amount of onions to the mutton ..
Basically I want to cry and I can use the onions as my excuse..
I believe that crying is good for health it cleanses your soul ..
So I googled and found a whole lot of recipes..
And some in Arabic..
Which was most informative , since I do not understand it at all ha ha ha

Well this is a combination of a recipe by Sanjeev Kapoor and Aditya bal and some other recipes..

INGREDIENTS

MUTTON-800 gm
Onion- 750 gm
Tomatoes- 4
Dry red chili - 6
Green chili - 4
Pepper corns- 6
Cardamom - 4
Fennel seeds - 3 tsp
Fenugreek seeds or methi seeds -1 tsp
Cinnamon - 1 piece about 2 inches
Black cardomom -2
Pomegranate seeds- 4tbsp
Yoghurt -1/2 kg 
 Coriander seeds -2 tablespoons
Cumin seed-1 tablespoon
Lemon juice     -2 tablespoons
Ginger- chopped 2 inch piece
Fresh mint leaves - 1 handful
Turmeric powder 1 teaspoon
Salt to taste
Garam masala powder     1 tbsp
Fresh coriander leaves,chopped  2 tablespoons
Ghee/clarified butter- 6 tbsp

Method

With a hand pestle grind together the , red chillies, 2 green chillies, the pepper corn,cardamom, fennel seeds, fenugreek seeds, pomegranate seeds, coriander seeds, cumin seeds..with a tablespoon of ghee.
Add the juice of 1 lime to it.
Then in a pressure cooker add 4 tbsp of ghee/clarified butter.
Add about 1/4 the onions and two green chillies..
Cook it till the onion gets translucent, add the spice mix and cook for 5 minutes more..
Take it off the fire and drain the onion spice mix, leave it to cool and then grind it in mixer

Put the pressure cooker back on the fire with the used ghee and add two more tbsp of ghee.
Put all the onions into it and let it sweat, on a medium flame.
Add the ginger paste and cook the entire mix for at least 15 minutes.
Add the cinnamon, the black cardamom , garam masala,turmeric powder ..
Give it a good stir..
Add the mutton pieces and let it all cook on a high flame for 10 minutes..
Please take extra care to not burn it.
Then put the flame down on medium and let it cook for another 25 minutes..
My grandma used to say that if you want tasty food , it need to be bagaar'd..or bhuno 'd..
So that's what I did..
Then add the mint.
I put in half a kg of yogurt , shut the pressure cooker and let it whistle twice.
I then brought down the flame and let it cook for 15 minutes.
Put it off and left it to cool.

Serve with mint and freshly cut onions with lime squeezed on it ..


And so today I'm letting it all out..
Half way mark to the year 2013..
And I'm cleaning and de-cluttering mind, body, heart , soul and home..

And so as I look at my ready mutton do pyaaza..

I'm thinking of my piano that is now sitting in my church ..
Where it will be played every Sunday , by someone who really knows how to make beautiful music.
So many kids will have a first hand experience of a true blue old fashioned piano...
I'm happy..
It will do what it was made to do ..
Play music ..
In my home it was a beautiful piano that was never really played..

And so even though I have still not gotten over the fact that I freely gave away something that I have always loved and wanted..
I think now it will be much happier ..

According to me a musical instrument not played is furniture
And a heart that cannot love with abandon is just a muscle ..

Music and love are both entwined..
Like the earth and the rain..
The sky and the deep blue sea..
The poet and her muse..
A paratha and ghee..
A muscle and a dumbell..
Yoga and health..
A run and endorphins..
Etc..
Well that's my opinion completely and nobody has to agree with me ..

Cry me a river- Mutton..

So as I bite into my "Cry me a River-Mutton "..
That I used as my excuse to cry with abandon..
I'm thinking its all good  ..
It's funny how an onion that makes your eyes water while you are slicing it , completely turns sweet once you cook it ..

I guess that means all of us humans also become better people after we pass through trying times..
More compassionate, more loving, more understanding...more in tune with true feelings deep inside us and other people....

Well the sweetness of the onion and the spice of the chillies along with this tender mutton has sufficed me  at the moment to pacify my heart break ..

The rest I will sort out with some music  and time ..
With lotsa love and a looooong sigh only from "Maria's Kitchen "

DAY 97 - ZEN'D COD WITH PEPPERS and XOXO...

And so my kitchen is kinda ready , but not yet..
There are workers walking in and out of my home..
Wherever I look ,I see a man working on some part of my home...
There are masons, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, painters, polishers, iron smiths..
Well there are just toooo many people..
And frankly now they have become part of my household...
So when I bake muffins...
Or make churros enough for an army..
They get it with their Chai..
Maybe that's why they are not leaving...
Ha ha ha ...

I think when the work all gets done..
And they do not come back no more..
I'm think I'm going to miss them..
Ha ha ha ...
I have made peace with the fact that they are not leaving in a hurry...
And that's that..

I think as humans..
Making peace with what you cannot change or improve is a good way to live ..
Not everything goes according to plan, but plan you must and know fully well that there will be changes..
I don't know..
But that's what I feel now ..
At this stage in my life..
But my feelings change a lot.. Mercurial is what my friend Jaya says I am..

I'm still volatile..
I still hurt..
I still bleed..
I still cry..
I do not like to give up..

But I have learnt to give in..
To let be..
I'm not always right..
Even though I may think I am ..
And it's not that I don't put up a fight ..

When I'm about to lose something or someone I dearly and deeply love or want..
But I also know, that if I'm fighting for something and someone..
Then they should also be wanting the same..
It's like that scene from "my best friends wedding" ..
Where Julia Roberts character is running after her best friend who is getting married to someone else..
And her friend Rupert Everetts character asks her, " and who is running after you"...
Such a deep pertinent question..

Well such is life..
Sometimes we need someone on the outside to give us perspective to the obvious..
And at that time..
We have a choice..
To actually see the truth..
And come to terms with it ..
Or live in fools paradise..

So Upender my contractor has told me, that it's going to take him maximum a week to finish up and leave ..
But I'm thinking 10-12 days at least..
That's because I can see it for what it is..
And so have made peace with the fact that ..
Yup..
They are not leaving in a hurry..

Meanwhile, the pet project I'm working on has come to a standstill..
Also because I'm at a loss for words..
Am feeling a bit stuck..
So I do not know what to write..

Also I think when I broke my kitchen, a part of my soul broke with it too..
It's there that I found  my love for cooking..
That my ZZ's have had their first meals..
Where I have cooked many a meals for my friends..
Where my Christmas madness has happened..
Memories of sitting on the windows with my friends drinking wine..
Drunk dialling..ha ha ha
Gosh now that I'm reminiscing ..

There is just so much ..
Memories, moments  and some more...
Memories can be such a bitch sometimes..
Ha ha ha did I just say that ..
Yup that was me..!

But I'm enjoying my new kitchen..
But it's still not home broken..
I need to call my friends and cook for everyone..
I need to drink champagne in there ..
And not remember anything ..ha ha ha the usual..

This kitchen has all my old wood-work, but its very different.
Its calm..
Maybe I have finally grown up , or Zen'd out a bit..
Its white..
So I need to add my brand of colour.. still deciding , am so confused..
And I need to write stuff on my walls..
But it has a wooden island, that houses all my recipe books..
Yeeeeaaaaah
My Le Creuset dishes that my wonderful friend Tosh carried back from London for me, are hanging on my wall..
My new kitchen overlooks my terrace..
And the big blue sky that has the rising sun..
When it rains..
I just love sitting at the window of my kitchen ..and stare out..
I loooooove the rains..
There is something extremely romantic about this season ..
And there is something completely magical about looking up into the rain ,as it pours down on you ..

And so today inspite of my home being full of Upenders elves..
The soft drizzle and the fresh light green leaves swaying on my terrace..
Just did something to me..
And so I started frantically searching for something that I could whip up..
Something that I don't normally make..

So I found cod..
I had pasta that I had boiled and kept..
Then got into my pantry and took out sesame oil, chili flakes, Xo sauce, oyster sauce, 5 spice powder , fish sauce and I was in business..
What business I still had to figure ..
But I was going the oriental way..

ZEN'D COD and PEPPERS with XOXO..

Cod fillets-1 kg
Sesame oil
Soya sauce
Oyster sauce
Xoxo sauce - 1 Tbsp
5 spice powder-2tbsp
Fish sauce- 1tbsp
Pepper freshly grounded
Chili flakes
Butter
Vegetable oil-5 tbsp
Bacon

Red pepper -1 diced
Yellow pepper-1 diced


METHOD

I'm sorry but I did not really measure all of the ingredients I used..
I was just cooking with abandon..
So please bear with me...

FISH
Wash and pat dry the cod..
Then sprinkle it with the 5spice powder..
Add a nice healthy and happy glug of the sesame oil..
The fish sauce.
The freshly ground pepper..
And about 2 tbsp of good quality Soya sauce..
And just let it marinate for about half an hour..

PEPPERS
In another pan
Add a tsp of butter
And 2 tsp of groundnut oil
And just add the peppers and stir fry them..
Add 2 tbsp of oyster sauce and a tsp of a soya sauce..
Let it sauté for about 3 minutes , then add 1/2 a cup of water and cook for about 3-5 minutes more, or till the water is reduced and you get a nice sauce..

Take it off the fire.
Keep aside

In a non stick pan over very high heat.
Sear the fish with a tbsp of butter and 2 tbsps of ground nut oil, on either side about a minute each..
Then lower the heat to medium..
Add chili flakes while frying the fish .
Add 2 tbsp of oyster sauce.. 
Then let it cook on a medium flame for about 5 minutes or till your fillet is cooked..
Add a tbsp of XO sauce and take it off the fire...

I did not have spring onions or basil..

Or tiny red chillies..
But I think if you do add it , it will be awesome..


Serve hot..

The amazing thing about using cod is that it's texture is very soft and fleshy and it takes in the flavouring of the marinade very easily ...

Sometimes in life I think if we are able to adapt to everything changing around us without putting up a fight ,it sometimes help..
I'm not saying give into stuff that is ridiculous and that goes against your grain..
But sometimes you have to let be..

I think all of us have a path..
And if you find people walking the same path with you ..
Great ....
It's always nice to walk with wonderful company..
But it's also nice to discover your own company..
And the best way ...
Is to introduce you to yourself..

Sometimes hanging in your own company..
Fine tunes your soul..

So while I served food and Zeke went into over drive about the aroma of the food..
While Zene was trying to say stuff with her mouth stuffed with fish..
And my parents were wondering why there is no rice or noodles...
(well I then tossed the pasta in some sesame oil, with some chili flakes)
My daddy looked relieved ..
He had that look on his face,that said, " crazy people have no clue what a meal should be like " ha ha ha

I pierced my fork into a steaming fillet..
Soft, succulent and full of the toasty flavour of the sesame.. The subtle spice of the Xo sauce enlightened my taste buds..
This felt good..
This recipe worked..
I really did not know how this was going to taste..
But it was good, it had the right amount of flavouring and consistency

And so you may not always know where you are..
But that does not mean that you are lost..
You need to always go with your heart...
Take a few risks without thinking too much..
But yes do not hurt anyone..

And when in doubt COOK...
At least that's what I do ..
 I love to cook........regardless..

So here's presenting "Zen'd Fish with peppers and xoxo" ...piping hot and so subtly flavoured...
 It's almost like when you look into someone's eyes and then break into a smile that unexplainable..

With lots of love only from "Maria's Kitchen"...

Day 95 : FUNDAY FONDUE....

Children are amazing creatures.
They are blunt ,honest,say what they want .
And say the most amazing stuff at the most opportune moment.
So summer is here in full swing.
And as my friend Kichie mentioned, "If the outside feels like an oven, should not the inside smell like brownies"
Well what can I say our city of Mumbai is as hot as the women that live here ha ha ha ..

Well so the ZZ's are busy enjoying their Prithvi workshop..
And I'm really enjoying, hanging there, in the quiet buzzing atmosphere, trees and happy faces.
And so I have started using those two hours to write..
I use my earphones, put on a compilation of my favourite music and just write straight for two hours..
It's lovely..

My kitchen is getting moved.
I'm glad.
I somehow love change, and I'm constantly rearranging, stuff around the house , so it all looks different, I also rearrange the plants, if they could talk , I know they would have plenty to say to me, but they are flowering, so I know they are happy..

I have always wanted my kitchen upstairs as that's where we entertain.
And I have realised that I usually get what I want , maybe not as soon as I want it , but eventually...
If I still want it as much as I think I do .

So this year, I took that giant leap and decided, that , this is it..
I'm going to get what I want ..

My kitchen is going where I have always wanted it..
And so I'm knee deep in dust and kids on vacation..
And it's all good..
So my kitchen is being pulled apart and getting re-arranged, and re-located, and I'm hoping it gets done before the rains..
And so we have been eating out a lot.
Because its kinda not feasible to be cooking with the dust..

So today we all go out for lunch, order food, and in the middle of our order, the neighbouring table gets a pot of fondue with bread.
And Zeke looks there and says, I want cream and bread.
Then he realised that it was cheese and then wanted cheese and bread..
And he went on and on, that I really thought that our neighbouring table were going to invite him over or send us the pot of fondue.
It was exactly the case of , " I want what they are eating"..
Which reminds me of that fantastic scene in "When Harry met Sally" ha ha ha
Meg Ryan was just adorable...

So yes, while I got back to my saw- dust and cement with the workers ..
Zeke continued about the fondue.

And so by 5, I decided to go shopping..
I don't know what's wrong with me..
I'm not much of a shopping person actually..
But shopping it was..

So I get into my car..
And decided to call  Sandy, why ..
Don't EVER as me why ?
I do most things impulsively ...I hope thats answers your question...
But it's always fun to hang with her..
So I picked her up, and a-shopping we went..

Vintage earth is a great shop, it has the most amazing ghagras (Indian printed skirts)
So I was trying to convince them to take the five skirts I have back, so I can buy more, I'm sure they think I'm completely crazy, and I'm never arguing my case ..
I like being crazy..
It's a good place to be..
One day I will invite you in my world of crazy , and you will see that it is beautiful...
If I'm rambling, I blame the dust..

So Sandy and me , then went to natures basket, and bought our groceries..
We talked about stuff ranging from food, to work to fun gossip.
And I was back home with ingredients for fondue for my little cubs..

And so while the carpenters hammered away upstairs, I started prepping for dinner..
What were we having..
FONDUE......

AND so I googled a whole lot of recipes..
And wanted to make the healthiest fondue ever..
Ha ha ha

INGREDIENTS

FONDUE
White wine - 11/2 cup
Cheddar cheese- 11/2 cup grated
Gruyere cheese- 1/2 cup grated
Garlic- 4 cloves
Nutmeg-1/2 tsp
Chili powder-1/4 tsp
Flour - 1 tsp
Butter -1 tbsp

Mushrooms- 1 packet
Cut them into four pieces , and sauté in a non stick pan with 1/2 tsp butter and 1/2tsp olive oil , sprinkle salt , and keep aside

Prawns- 200 gm.
Sauté like above

Carrots- 2
Dice them and sauté like mushrooms.

Baguette - 1/2
Cut it into bite size pieces, and toss it in 1 tbsp olive oil and 1 tbsp butter, then bake it at 175 degrees for 10-15 minutes.
I like it crunchy..

FONDUE METHOD.

IN A non stick pan, add the butter, then add the nutmeg, chili and the flour and cook this really well , at least a minute or more on very medium heat.
Then add a little wine at a time and keep whisking the mix, so that the roux or the flour mixes into the wine and you do not get any lumps.
Add the grated cheese a little bit at a time, and let the first batch completely melt , till you add some more.
Keep doing this till all the cheese is over.
 Do not let it bubble.

I was done..and we all sat for dinner.
Zeke took a bite and said, " oh my god, it's so cheesy"
So I explained that this is what fondue is..
Then he went for it, like he has not eaten in at least a year, he is like me in some ways ha ha ha ..
Zene looked and said, "mama, I love it, it's awesome"
Then she said the sweetest thing, "mama our house is like a restaurant, we get all the best things" ..
Just for this I could go shopping and cooking all over again...
 They ate the carrots, the mushrooms, the prawns and the bread..
Then we made bowls of all the ingredients and I poured a little fondue on it , and they ate it with a spoon...
I think the Swiss, French and Italians would die if they saw us do this...
Thank God, they were not invited for dinner..ha ha ha

I think fondue is to the west what khan-suey is to the Orient...
I did not have my fondue dish, because I do not possess one..
So we ate straight outa the pot..
On a mat on our floor like a picnic..

I like trying new stuff..
And it's amazing how easy and tasty this was..
It's just a big mix of yummy things..

So as my home sleeps..
I sit alone thinking ..
My life  is  a mix of moments and people..
And it's this mix that makes life so interesting..
Some are the garlic in my life, I want them everywhere, I love garlic and put it in all my dishes
Some are like wine, that make me all bubbly and too honest , which may not always be fine..
Some like cheese, that are a bit hard to please..
Some like flour, that are needed in doses , so that it makes life seem solid
Some like chili, that you need a little of ,for that extra zing..
Some like butter, you never seem to get enough of..
And some like nutmeg..
Subtle but intense and adds a lot without being too overpowering, and all may not miss the taste except the one who has tasted it..
So here's presenting , " FUNDAY FONDUE"
Hot , full of flavour and Zing...just like the weather and women in Mumbai ha ha ha ..
Only from Maria's kitchen ...

DAY 94 : ZENE'S UNMEASURABLE LOVE CAKE...

And so every year, as the days to Zene's birthday draws closer..
I wonder what I'm going to do ..
Little girls are special..
Older ones too..
And they always need to be treated that way ..
(So I keep drilling this in Zeke's head)

So this year, it was decided that we are not having a birthday party, but we are going to take a few really close friends out to this little piece of paradise that we all love in Mumbai..

And so I was sitting absolutely carefree in the knowledge that, I'm sorted , seven kids is not going to be difficult it's a piece of cake..

So on the 29th , while I decided to cycle around..
I go downstairs and get accosted by a bunch of little girls and boys , telling me how they are not in town for "the party" on the 2nd...as they are all going on holidays..
So I look at Zene and say," What Party Zene?"...
And she looks me straight in the eye with a smile saying, " my birthday party mama,you told me to invite my friends" ..
So I'm looking at this little sea of party eager faces , and me being me..
Made a few very quick calculations in my head ..

And in a matter of a few seconds..
I was having a birthday party the next day..
Now how to get invites , what should  I do and how to organise it over night..

So while , I'm thinking this , I remembered at the back of my head that my friend Jaya's kids will also not be there..
Mini leaves with her  kids too..
Zene's best friend Neoma is not there ..
Her building best friend is leaving..
So then if I do a birthday for her later , the ones she loves and the ones that love her , will not be there..
And frankly , she knew that, because that afternoon, she gave me a long list of friends I had to invite ..
I just did not know that they were already invited..

So I have left from cycling, to buying invites..
And by 9.30pm have hand delivered most of them, called and got all my confirmations, by 10.30pm..
Gosh..why am I so impulsive...
But I love it, it mostly turns out fantastic..
So I'm going with mostly..

The plan was, we all do lunch , we watch "The Croods" again..
And thanks to Freyan from Fox , it was done..
And that's that..
I had gone over various plans with Mini and Jaya..
And like they always know, at the end I do what I want..

I don't have a cake..
I don't know what to do now..
So I open my baking cabinet , praying that I have ingredients for at least a cake...
Time now11.30pm..
I'm actually exhausted..

Flour, eggs, butter, baking powder, sugar, peanut butter,chocolate, milk maid all there...

I went to sleep, tired but happy..
Tomorrow is going to be a long day..

I woke up at 6...
Put some fantastic music on..
(I now know how to buy music from ITunes, so I'm fully "buy-happy")
And then got down to making a cake ..
I'm sorry I cannot give you a perfect  recipe, because I put it all together in some proportion of some sort but was not all measured accurately...
I put milk in and milk powder too..
It makes the cake a little fluffy..
This is my "Love cake" ..
Its like when you love someone, you don't really decide how much you must love them,  you just do, in unmeasurable proportions..

UNMEASURABLE LOVE CAKE
INGREDIENTS

Flour -200 gm
Butter- 250 gmDemarara sugar- 250 gm
Eggs- 250 gm
Milk powder- a few tablespoons
Peanut butter- a few table spoons
Milk- at the end so that the batter was easy and cake consistency..
Chocolate-200 gms and some more
Cocoa powder- A few table spoons
Milk maid - A good pour
Baking powder - 2 tsp...


I mixed and sieved all the dry ingredients together..
I then beat the butter, with the peanut butter..
Added the sugar..
Then beat in the melted chocolate, I know I added some more, but no clue how much..

Then I folded in the dry ingredients with a spatula, adjusted the consistency with milk and poured it out into two cake tins and baked them for 25 minutes in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees...
So far all good..
My kitchen is getting moved, so my home is a mess..
So frankly this early morning baking, with the freedom to put what I want in the hope that it turns out well, was blissful..

I then had to cool it and decorate it....

So amidst a whole lot of morning craziness,
I iced the cake..
I made a chocolate ganache and decorated it with "little hearts " biscuits that I iced petals on..
So Zene's cake had chocolate, hearts , flowers and stars..
Everything that  she loves..

By 11.40 my ZZ's , the birthday cake and a few of the kids from my building , were off to meet the rest of the gang..
I met the motley crew of smiling faces all 19 of them ..
We then ordered lunch, played in the play area, whizzing cars, some giddy looking giant wheel thingy and a few screams and chaotic hour later..

We all sat for lunch..
I realise that I like kids..
It's like summer camp..
I say yes to what is allowed..
No to all the demands for "aerated drinks" ..
The ranks had a good time ..
I felt bad for the others lunching,or the ones who were trying to have a romantic lunch ..
Ha ha ha ...
Thank god a few of the kids mums joined me and a dad..

We then all went for "Croods"..
I love that film..
"follow the light" ..
Such a simple line , yet completely loaded..

We then all met the" Belt" from the film...
Thank you Freyan...

We were pop-corned out...
By 5.30 pm , all I could think of is a cold slim glass of a bubbly, somewhere on a beautiful beach..enjoying the sunset...

Ha ha ha...
But I'm very very creative with my imagination, that way..
So I did a lot more after reaching that beach in my head..
But in reality , I came back with a whole lot of smiling faces, and we were done ...

And like a good girl, since I needed to rest..
I went shopping with my friend Sambo..
Gosh shopping is really relaxing ha ha ha ....

Late that night after I put the kids to bed and my day was done..
I sat with a piece of "Zene's Love cake"

Zene's Unmeasurable Love Cake..

I was just thinking of my Zene..
I'm happy that she knows who her friends are, and very clear about who she wanted at her birthday..
She knew her core few..
And they needed to be there..

That's what life is all about..
In this party we live in, we may dance in a room full of people we know, but we truly look into the eyes of just a few..

And as I looked at her ..
6 years old..
A heart full of gold..
A smile that just captures my soul..
And eyes that are really naughty to behold..
She loves too much ..
Already that I can see..
And stands up for her family..
It's a girl thing , I think..
What ever may happen in life..
I just want her to have love in abundance..
The kind that is kind..
The kind that keeps her safe in its embrace..
The kind that lights up her eyes..
And beams the brightest smile..
The kind that will catch her even before she falls..
The kind that will only make her cry tears of joy..
I want all my share of happiness to go to her..
She should never have any fear..
She should always say what she feels, without hurting a soul..
Keep her word ..
I want her to live with a heart that is free..
There is so much time more to go ..but blessings is all that I ask for everyday..
Keep both my kids safe in mind, body , heart and soul...
That's all that matters to me at the end of the day..

Girls are special..
When boys do understand that one day..
This world of ours will be a nicer place to stay...

And so Zene turned a year older..
And I today I took her to my yoga class..
It's a different joy..
Taking a little part of you , with a yoga mat, to a place you find peace..
( Zeke was not interested..
Boys..)
She loved the class and my Yoga Guru Eefa loved her(but then Eefa is a very loving soul), she did everything with ease, while the rest of us panted and sweated..

It was a good day..
The month of May is always good, it always brings clarity..
Maybe because it's the holidays..
I don't know..
Maybe because it's Zene's birthday month, I really don't know..

All I learnt from Zene, this birthday..
Is that everyone of us have a few core people that we love..
And if they are not part of our life, more in the joyous moments..
Those moments don't feel as fun or joyous..
There will be a void..
There will be a little emptiness..
Missing someone is about that moment you are doing something, and you wish they were right there next to you..
Yup...

So like Zene..
Make those moments happen..
Make the people that really count..know that they really count..
All and everything else does not matter..

Yes her Birthday is on the 2nd of May...
But I don't think dates matter..
If your heart is happy , its your birthday everyday...
It just knows feelings...
And that's that..

So "Happy Birthday " my darling Zene-pooie..
May you have have something beautiful to smile about and may you always be surrounded by love ...
With lotsa love from your Mama, who is stuffing her face with your    'UNMEASURABLE LOVE CAKE" ..

And to everyone who is part of my life directly or indirectly..
Lotsa love from me to you ..
Only from "Maria's Kitchen" ...