Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I STEAL WHAT I CAN'T GET....
I just learned something new about me today ..
I write great stories in my head ..
Wish I knew how to translate them to real life instead ..
But will live and learn ..
As for me this is just the beginning of my journey not the end ..
Think I open my heart completely when I do ...
It's actually not the most intelligent thing, for me particularly to do ..
I always thought I could read people well..
But oh ..
I'm so wrong ..
It's funny and scary as hell..
I mostly do not let too many people in ..
Because even though I'm really friendly ..
Deep down I'm still a bit shy and scared of a lot of things ..
So when I bare my heart ..
It really takes me a lot ...
Of time and thinking ..
And conversations I have had with myself ...
Of wondering, pondering and shuddering ..
What if this and what if that ..
A thousand questions a million answers ..
But in this little time that I have walked on these beautiful treks into my soul...
I have somewhere come to the conclusion...
That if you really tune into yourself and listen to your heart..
There really is no confusion ...
Even though your heart is placed on the left ..
It is always right ...
So go with how your heart feels...
No matter what...Whats the most that could happen...
You could hurt it a bit ...so what ..
Ask and you will get your answers..
Whether they have been answered or not ..
The fact is ..
It's better to live and take a few chances and take a few memory worthy risks ..
Rather than live with a safety net ..
Bungee jumping for the soul. ..
Ha ha ha that's why I jumped, not just once , but twice and would do it again in a heart beat..( err not exactly ,but i would), even though , heights frighten me to hell..
Once because I wanted to know how it feels....
and again because that's exactly how I wanted my heart to feel ..
Excited, unsure, free-falling ,soaring, light,like a bird who knows that there is a nest way below, with my heart pounding so fast that could feel it burst into a million stars ....
I love my stupid foolish heart, that loves with abandon....
It steals what it cant get..
It makes it's own path ..
It follows a yellow brick road and is in search of the wizard of Oz ..
Knowing fully well ..
That love,happiness, laughter, joy , peace and bravery..
Is all ,actually living inside me..
Sitting in solace...
And smiles at me when, there is no other..
And so I will open my heart and smile ..
Because that's the only way I know how to live ..
Like I'm running in an open field, filled with daisies , racing the wind and chasing the sun...
and when the day is done ..
I look up at the great blue sky..
That is twinkling back at me...
Think of all whom I love , send them tight hugs ...
and go to sleep..
And say a little prayer that tomorrow will be as beautiful as today ..